Stephen Lynch – Grandfather (Ukulele)

G                    Bm
When grandfahter dies

C                D
Life will strange

G                    Bm
When grandfather dies

    C                    D
my whole world will change

G                      Bm
when granderfather dies

C                        D
I'll scream and I'll yell

C                  D 
cause I'll f**king rich 

G
as hell

   Bm          C
So grandfather die 

G
don't keep me in suspense

    Bm          C
oh, grandfather cough 

G
up that inheritance

   Bm          C
oh grandfather don't

G
hold on another day

Bm           C        Am
I love you to death

            D
but I've got bills to pay

G                    Bm
A stroke would be nice 

C                    D
disease would be cool

G                     Bm          
I'll scatter his ashes 

C                      D
In my new swimmin' pool

G                 Bm
I'll party with Hef

C                   D
I'll dine with the Queen

C              D
Now what say we unplug

     G
that machine.

  Bm           C
Now grandfather die

G             
before the Fiscal Year

   Bm           C
oh grandfather I

G 
Wish Kervorkian were here

   Bm           C
oh grandfather fly

G
just take your final vow

   Bm       C       Am
oh grandfather die

G
  the family hates you anyhow

   Am
For God's sake,

    Bm          C          D 
you must be as old as the sun

    Am       Bm        C        D
you're social security number is one

    Am      Bm         C
You're deaf, dumb, and blind

       D
and an amputee

    Am          Bm
you donate your blood

       C            D
every time that you pee

     Am            Bm
your arthritis acts up

     C        D
whenever it rains

    Am         Bm
your so old, your penis

     C            D
has vericose veins

    Am           Bm
oh why don't do die grandpa

   C           D 
why must you fight

 Am           Bm
you old motherf**ker

      C                D
just walk towards the goddamn light

     G     Bm          C         D
oohh walk toward the light old man

G                Bm
It's all over now

   C                D
My granddaddy's dead

G                Bm
a mysterious blow

      C                 D
to his wrinkled old head

G               Bm
Before I collect

  C             D
A small oversight

    C                 D        G
But everything should work out alright

           C             D           G
I'll start working on my grandma tonight