Kimya Dawson – The Beer (Ukulele)

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the beer I had for breakfast was a bottle of Mad Dog

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and my 20/20 vision was fifty percent off

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you said punch-buggy red and punched me right in my left eye

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I said don't you mean pediddle? and I lit his house on fire

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he came home on acid I was holding his shotgun

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I was dressed like Tina Turner in Beyond Thunderdome

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he said don't shoot, I said I won't I love you you're my friend

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I handed him my wig and shot myself in the head

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then I stuffed a box of tissues in the hole in my skull

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I got in my Mazda and I drove to the mall

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I got a Big Johnson shirt and some silicone tits

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when I pulled out the tissues they were covered with shit

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and the beer I had for breakfast was a box of cheap white wine

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and the boom box on my shoulder was a box of clementines

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I ate every single one without noticing the mold

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you said you're gross my darling, I said no I'm rock and roll

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even though I'd never ever been in a band

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I got cool as black ice tattooed on my hand

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and the Christians gave me comic books as if I would be scared

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of burning in hell well I was already there

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and the beer I had for breakfast, Silver Bullet in the brain

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and the beer I had for lunch was a bottle of Night Train

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and the beer I had for dinner was my crazy neighbor's pills

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we had to sit down on skateboards just to make it down the hill

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then I peed my pants and you stole the groom's cigar

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and some old man made me watch him masturbate locked in his car

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when I got back to the apartment you were face down on the floor

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you said don't go to bed yet let's go get a 64

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and the beer I had had for breakfast was a pint of Jim Beam

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and a fifth of peach schnapps and some warm Sunny D

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and you said bottoms up just as I bottomed out

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I tried to scream fuck you but blood was pouring out my mouth

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Evan Dando never planned on telling you the truth

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and your Leonardo I.D. card is your fountain of youth

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you can be a teenager for your whole fucking life

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just find some pretty sucker and make that bitch your wife

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I guess by now you all know my friend Danny broke his neck

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he was driving home from Sirens when he got into a wreck

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first I cried for him and then I cried for me

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haunted by the ghost of the girl I used to be

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but the rocks with holes are warm in my hands

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and I buried my toes in the hot hot sand

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and the silver pink pony kisses me and says

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you've come a long, long way and you deserve to be really happy