Half Man Half Biscuit – Asparagus Next Left (Guitar)

Key
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Versions (2)

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Chords

[Main riff] A D G x4 [Verse 1]
      A         D               G
We've just been performing a guerilla gig

       A         D                  G
In the middle of another group's guerilla gig

      A                 D           G
Well, surely that's the ultimate guerilla gig

    A7         D7         G
But still they cried like girls

C                 C   B   A     G
Road signs on our country lanes may

G                D
Not be what they seem

C           C    B      A   G
  Asparagus next left - who says?

G             D
  I've been upstream

C                    C    B A G
Going down there for plum tomatoes

G                    D
  That's not a good idea

     C
For 'horse manure 200 yards' read

D
  'Bottomless perdition'
[Main riff] A D G x4 [Verse 2]
         A           D          G
When the club versus country dispute arose

      A             D               G
Small children were trampled in the exodus

   A        D          G
We all knew someone at primary school

    A7         D7       G
Who had a very powerful magnet

C                C   B A G
  This-a-way for new potatoes

   G                    D
An arrow points innocently

C               C  B   A      G
Dirt track to a darker place, that's

G                 D
  What it says to me

C                 C  B    A  G
  Last chance for hanging baskets

G                         D
  They're even giving you clues

C
Fresh broad-beans and aubergines

D
Euphemisms, Audrey, euphemisms
[Guitar Solo] G C x4 [Main riff] A D G x4 [Verse 3]
A          D               G
  Whatever happened to the plumber's van

    A      D       G
The humble amateur transit van

A           D      G
Vans have become ridiculous with their

A7    D7         G
Strategies and logistics

C               C  B A   G
  Veer left for marmalade

G                  D
  I don't think so Joe

    C                C  B    A  G
And why are tractors turning

G                    D
  We really ought to know

C                      C B   A     G
  So stay alert on the minor roads

G                  D
  Remember Phyllis Triggs

C
"Ooh, rhubarb, let's go"

      D                             A
She's still not been accounted for