Wilco – Meanest Man (Guitar)

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If the folks next door to me weren't so good

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I'd do all the mean things anybody could

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I'd drink and I'd gamble and I'd louse around

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I'd be the meanest man in this whole town

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If I hadn't seen the light in that old lady's eyes

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I'd try to be a man you would hate and despise

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I'd rave and I'd rant and I'd scream and yell

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And I'd chase my neighbors from here to hell

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If I hadn't heard those kids laugh playing games

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I'd have nervous fits, I'd go insane

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I'd turpentine cats and tin can dogs

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I'd smother people to death inside of hollow logs

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If the people around me wasn't so nice

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I'd freeze my heart into a cake of ice

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Steal money from soldiers and working folks too

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I'd lend you a dollar and take back two

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If my wife didn't kiss me the way she does

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I'd carry four or five daggers and three or four guns

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I'd shoot craps and ramble and hang out late

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I'd steal baby buggies and Cadillac Eights

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If my friends didn't write me those letters I get

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I'd be a dictator, the worse one yet

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I'd be the only smart bird, you'd all be fools

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Send you all away to war and I'd stay home and rule

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If it wasn't for them songs I hear you all sing

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I'd put a crown on my dome and I'd say I'm your king

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I'd kidnap some and blackmail others

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I'd peddle black market stuff and rob sisters and brothers

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If it weren't for your talking I hear on the street

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I'd be the orneriest man that you ever did meet

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I'd preach the gospel of hate and I'd drink your blood

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But I can't be this bad because my folks are too good

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No I can't be this bad because my folks are too good

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No I can't be this bad because my folks are too good