Weird Al Yankovic – Amish Paradise (Ukulele)
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Amish Paradise - "Weird Al" Yankovic
Bad Hair Day (1996)
[Verse 1]
F As I walk through the valley where I Dm harvest my grain E7 Am I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain F Dm But that's just perfect for an Amish like me E7 You know I shun fancy things like Am electricity F Dm At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows E7 Am Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool F Dm And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that E7 Am Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone F Dm I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline E7 Am Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin F But if I finish all of my chores and Dm you finish thine E7 Then tonight we're gonna party like Am it's 1699
[Chorus 1]
F Dm We been spending most our lives E7 Am living in an Amish paradise F Dm I've churned butter once or E7 Am twice living in an Amish paradise F Dm It's hard work and sacrifice living E7 Am in an Amish paradise F Dm We sell quilts at discount price E7 Am living in an Amish paradise
[Verse 2]
F Dm A local boy kicked me in the butt last week E7 Am I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek F Dm I really don't care, in fact I wish him well E7 'Cause I'll be laughing my head off Am when he's burning in Hell F But I ain't never punched a tourist Dm even if he deserved it E7 Am An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of F Dm I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat E7 Am And my homies agree I really look good in black fool F Dm If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears E7 We haven't even paid the phone bill in Am 300 years F Dm But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare E7 Am We're just technologically impaired
[Bridge]
F There's no phone, no lights, no Dm E7 Am motorcar not a single luxury F Dm E7 Like Robinson Caruso it's as primitive Am as can be
[Chorus 2]
F Dm We been spending most our lives E7 Am living in an Amish Paradise F Dm We're just plain and simple guys E7 Am living in an Amish Paradise F Dm There's no time for sin and vice E7 Am living in an Amish Paradise F Dm We don't fight, we all play nice E7 Am living in an Amish Paradise
[Verse 3]
F Dm Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter E7 Am Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise an 'udder F Dm Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart? E7 Well, I know I'm a million time as Am humble as thou art F Dm I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes want to be like E7 On my knees day and night scorin' Am points for the afterlife F Dm So don't be vain and don't be whiny E7 Or else, my brother, I might have to Am get medieval on your heinie
[Chorus 3]
F Dm We been spending most our lives E7 Am living in an Amish Paradise F Dm E7 We're all crazy Mennonites living in Am an Amish Paradise F Dm There's no cops or traffic E7 Am lights living in an Amish Paradise F Dm But you'd probably think it E7 Am bites living in an Amish Paradise [Outro] F Dm E7 Am Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh F Dm E7 Am Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!