Weird Al Yankovic – Albuquerque (Guitar)
Key
-
Versions
(2)
Guitar
Ukulele
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1.0x
Chords
Song: Albuquerque
Artist: Weird Al Yankovic
CD: Running With Scissors
Copyright: 1999 Volcano Entertainment
Tabbed For: Electric Guitar
Tabbed By: Tim Fehr
F B Fm7? Bm7 E--1-- E--1-- E--1-- E--1--| B--1-- B--3-- B--1-- B--2--| G--2-- G--3-- G--1-- G--1--| D--3-- D--3-- D--1-- D--3--| A--3-- A--1-- A--3-- A--1--| E--1-- E--1-- E--1-- E--1--| E-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-8h10p8-|-------------| B-------------|-------------|-------------|--10---------| G-------------|-------------|-------------|-----10------| D-------------|-------------|-------------|-------------| A-------------|-------------|-------------|-------------| E-------------|-------------|-------------|-------------| F F Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the F F stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the F F street from Jerry?s Bait Shop? You know the place? Well anyway, back then F F F F life was going swell and everything was juuuuust peachy? except of course F F F F for the undeniable fact that every single morning my mother would make me F F F F a big old bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast. Daaaaaaaouh! Big bowl of F F sauerkraut! E-13------------| B---13p10-------| G--------10-----| F F F F F D---------------| Every single morning! It was driving me crazy. I said to A---------------| E---------------| F F my mom, I said, ?Hey mom, what?s up with all the sauerkraut?? And my dear F F F F sweet mother she just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train. F F F F And she leaned right down next to me, and she said, ?It?s good for you!? B B B B F F F F B B B And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth B F F F F B B B B F F and force-fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty-six and a half F F years old. That?s when I swore that someday, someday I would get out of F F F that basement and travel to a magical far away place where the sun is B F always shining and the air smells like warm root beer and the towels are B F B oh so fluffy, where the shriners and the lepers play their ukulele?s all F B day long and anyone on the street?ll gladly shave you?re back for a F B B B B F nickel. Wakawakadoodoo yah! Well let me tell you people, that it wasn?t F F F F long at all before my dream came true because the very next day a local F F radio station had this contest to see who could correctly guess the number F F F F of molecules in Leonard Neroy?s butt. I was off by three but I still won F F the grand prize. That?s right a first class one-way ticket, to F Fm7 B Bm7 F B F F Fm7 B Bm7 F B A - lbuquerque, A - lbuquerque! Ah yah, you know I never F F been on a real airplane before and I gotta tell ya it was really great. F F F F Except that I had to ist between two large Albanian women with F F excruciatingly severe body odour and the little kid in back of me kept F F throwing up the whole time. The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper F F F F and salted peanuts and the in flight movie was "Biodome" with Polly Shore. F And oh yah three of the airplane's engines burned down and we went into a B F tailspin and crashed into a hillside and the plane exploded in a giant B F F fireball and everybody died! Except for me. You know why? ?Cause I had my B F B train table up, and my seat back in the full upright position, had my F B F B train table up, and my seat back in the full upright position, had my F B F B train table up, and my seat back in the full upright position. Ah ha ha F F F F ha! Oh ha ha! Ahhhh. So I crawled from the twisted burnin? wreckage, I F F crawled on my hands and knees for three full days, dragging along my big F B F leather suitcase, and my garment bag, and my tenor saxophone, and my B F B twelve-pound bowling ball and my lucky lucky autographed glow in the dark F B B B B snorkel. But finally a arrived at the world famous ?Albuquerque Holiday F F F Inn?, where the towels are oh so fluffy, and you could eat you?re soup F F right out of the ashtrays if you wanna, it?s OK their clean. Well I F B F checked into my room and I turned down the AC and I turned on the spectro B F vision and I was just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow B F that I love so very very much when suddenly there?s a knock on the door. F F F F F Well now who could that be? I say, ?who is it?? No answer. ?Who is it?? F There?s no answer. ?Who is it!?? They?re not saying anything, so finally I F go over and I open the door and just as I suspected, it?s some big fat F F F hermaphrodite with a flock of seagull?s haircut and only one nostril. Oh F F F B man I hate it when I?m right. So anyway he burst into my room and grabbes
my lucky snorkel and I?m like ?hey, you can?t have that! That snorkel has
F F F been just like a snorkel to me.? And he?s like ?tough? And I?m like ?give F F F F it.? And he?s like ?make me.? And I?m like ?k.? So I grabbed his leg and B B F F B he grabbed my oesophagus and I bit off his ear and he chewed off my B F F eyebrows and I took out his appendix and he gave me a valonic irrigation F F yes indeed you better believe it. And somehow in the middle of it all the F F F F phone got knocked off the hook, and twenty seconds later I heard a F F familiar voice, and you know what it said, I?ll tell you what it said, it F F B B B F F B B F said, ?if you?d like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you F B B F B F F need help hang up and then dial you?re operator. If you?d like to make a B B B F F B F F B B call, please hang up and try again. If you need help hang up and then dial F B F Fm7 B Bm7 F B F F Fm7 B Bm7 F you?re operator. In A - lbuquerque, A - lbuquerque! Well F F F to cut a long story short he got away with my snorkel. But I made a solemn F F vow right then and there that I would rest, I would not sleep for an F F F F instant until the one-nostriled man was brought to justice. But first I F F B B decided to buy some donuts. So I got in my car and drove over to the donut F B F shop and I walked right up to the guy behind the counter and he says ?yah, wadaya want?? E-13--------11--------------11131618------------------1113-| it ain't per--| B-------------1311--------13--------1816----------1113---------------------| fect but it'l G-----------------1311------------------171513--13-------------------------| give you some D---------------------1310--------------------15---------------------------| thing to do A--------------------------------------------------------------------------| till you fig E--------------------------------------------------------------------------| ure it out F F F F I said, ? you got any glazed donuts?? He said, ?naaa were all out of F F F F glazed donuts.? I said, ?well you got any jelly donuts?? He said, ?naaa F F were all out of jelly donuts.? I said, ?you got any Bavarian cream-filled F F F F donuts?? He said, ?naaa were all out of Bavarian cream-filled donuts.? I F F said, ?you got any cinnamon rolls?? He said, ?naaa were all out of F F F F cinnamon rolls.? I said, ?you got any apple fritters!?? He said, ?naaa F F were out of apple fritters.? I said, ?you got any bear claws!!?? He said,
?wait a minute, I?ll go check.
E------------------------------------------------16-16-18-16-18-18b-|
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A---------19h20h21--21----------------------------------------------|
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F F F
Naaa were out of bear claws.? I said, ?well in that case, in that case
F F F F
what do you have?? He said, ?all I?ve got right now is this box of one
E-24b\-|
B------|
dozen starving crazed weasels.?G------| I said, ?OK I?ll take that.? So he
D------|
A------|
E------|
F B F
hands over the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out and they
B F
immediately latch onto my face and start biting me all over ayiyi
F F F F
yiyiyiyi. Oh, oh man they were just going nuts! Their terin? me apart. YouF FF
know I think it was just about that time that little ditty started goin?
B BB F FF B BB
through my head. I believe it went a little something like this.
F F F F B B B B F F F F B B B B F F F F B B B ?Doooohgetemoffmegettemoffmeooogetemoffgettemoffoooohgetoooohgeooohoooahhh B F F F F B B B B F F hohhhiahhooohahahahhhohhhhh!? I ran out onto the street with these flesh F F F F eating weasels all over my face, waiving my arms all around and just F F runnin? and runnin? and runnin? like a constipated wiener dog. And as luck F F F F would have it, that?s exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams, her F F name was Zelda. She was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite F F F F and hair the colour of strained peaches. I?ll never forget the very first F F F thing she said to me, she said, ?hey, you got weasels on your face.? F F That?s when I knew it was true love, we were inseparable after that, oh we F F F F ate together, we bathed together, we even shared the same piece of mint- F F F flavoured dental floss. The world was our burrito. So we got married and B F B we bought us a house and had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and F F F Superfly. Oh we were so very very very happy, oh ya. But then one fateful
night Zelda said to me, she said, ?Sweetie-pumpkin, do you want to join
F FF F B BB F B the Columbia Record Club?? I said, ?Wooooah hold on now baby, I?m F B F just not ready for that kind of a commitment.? So we broke up and I never F F F F F Fm7 B Bm7 F saw her again but that?s just the way things go, . In A - F B F Fm7 B Bm7 F lbuquerque, A - lbuquerque! E-16-16-16---16-16-16---16------16b16b17b17b17b18b18b-16-13-----------| B-18-------18---18----18--18-18-18--------------------------16--------| G--------------------------------------------------------------14-----| D-----------------------------------------------------------------15--| A---------------------------------------------------------------------| E---------------------------------------------------------------------| E----------------------------------------20p18p16p11-| B----------------------------------18-16-------------| G-17-15----18-18-18-16----19-17----------------------| D------17-------------16-------17--------------------| A----------------------------------------------------| E----------------------------------------------------| F F Anyway then things really started looking up for me, because about a week F F F F later I finally achieved my life-long dream. That?s right I got me a part F F time job at the ?Sizzler.? I even made employee-of-the-month after I put F F out that grease-fire with my face. Oh ya everyone was pretty jealous of me F F F F after that. I was getting lota attitude. OK like one time, I was out in F F F F the parking lot trying to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil, when F F I see this guy Marty tryin? to carry a big old sofa up the stairs all by F F himself. So I-I say to him, I say, ?hey, you want me to help you with F F F F that? And Marty he just rolls his eyes and goes, ?nooooo I want you to cut F F B F F F F off my arms and legs with a chain saw.? So I did. And then he gets all B B B B F F F F B B B B indignant on me, he?s like, ?hey mad I was just being sarcastic.? Well F F F that?s just great, how was I supposed to know that? I?m not a mind reader F F for crying out loud. Besides now he?s got a really cute nickname ?Torso E-20-16-18-17-14-16----------------------------------------| B-------------------20-16-18-17-13-15----------------------| F F G-------------------------------------19-15-17-17-13-15----| Boy?. D-------------------------------------------------------15-| So A----------------------------------------------------------| E----------------------------------------------------------|
what?s he complaining about? Say that reminds me of another amusing
F F F F anecdote; this guy comes up to me on the street and tells me he hasn?t had F F a bite in three days. Well I knew what he meant but just to be funny I F F F F took a big bite out of his jugular vein, and he?s yelling and screaming B and bleeding all over and I?m like, ?hey come on don?t you get it?? But he F F F B B F just kept rolling around on the sidewalk bleeding and screaming, YAHHHH! F B F F OHHHH! AHHHH! And I?m completely missing the irony of the whole situation, F F F F F F man some people just can?t take a joke you know? Anyway, um? um? where was F F F F F F I? Kinda lost my train of thought. Oh, uh, well oh okay anyway I know it?s F F a roundabout way of saying it but I guess the whole point I?m trying to F B F B make is, I, HATE, SAURKROUT! That?s all I?m really trying to say, and by F B the way if one day you happen to wake up and find yourself in an F B F B exsulstential quandary full of woeing and self doubt and wrapped with the F B F pain and isolation of you?re pitiful meaningless existence, at least even B F take a small bit of comfort in knowing that somewhere out there in this B F B F B crazy old mixed up universe of ours, there?s still a little place, called F Fm7 B Bm7 F B F Fm7 B Bm7 F B F B A - lbuquerque, A - lbuquerque! Albuquerque, Albuquerque, F B F B F Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, B F B F B F B F F B B F F B B Albuquerque, I say A, A, L, L, B, B, U, U? QUERQUE! QUERQUE! F F B B F F B B F F Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, B B F F B B F F B B Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, F F B B F F B B F F Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, B B F Albuquerque, Albuquerque, E-13-13-11-18-16-13-11-13-11/8-6-8-6-4-------1-1-1-1-| B--------------------------------------1-----1-1-1-1-| G----------------------------------------3---2-2-2-2-| D------------------------------------------1/3-3-3-3-| (drum solo) A--------------------------------------------3-3-3-3-| E--------------------------------------------1-1-1-1-| (Belch) I'm sorry but the last part I couldn't do because it goes too fast and my fingers are sore. So just play a bunch of notes scaling from the 20th fret to the 1st on the D string and play that awkward chord with lots of electronic phony stuff attached to it.