"Weird Al" Yankovic – Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me (Ukulele)

G
Oh the sand keeps falling through the hourglass

               D                        Em
And there's no way you're gonna slow it down

           C                   G
You say we gotta treasure each moment

              D                    B
Who knows how long we're gonna be around

         C                  G
Yeah you keep on telling me life is short

         B                              C
And it's hard to disagree with what you say

       G                           D
But if time is so precious, why ya wasting mine

          C
Cause I'm always reading, Always deleting

C                                       D
Every useless piece of garbage that you send my way

      G
Every stupid hoax

          D
All those corny jokes

      C                      D
Stop forwarding that crap to me

        G                          D
Well I don't need tons of cringe inducing puns

      C                      D
Stop forwarding that crap to me

      Em              Bm
No it isn't ok if you brighten my day 

          C                                 D
With some cut and pasted hackneyed Hallmark poetry

       G                    D
And I didn't request a personality test

      C         D
Stop forwarding - that crap to me

G - D - C - D
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...

D              G
You're sending virus-laden bandwidth-hogging attachments 

   D                       Em
to every single person you know

       C                       G
You're passing round a link to some dumb thing on YouTube

     D                      B
That everybody else already saw three years ago

    C            G
And wacky badly Photoshopped billboards

     B                     C
were never that amusing to me

      G                        D
And I just can't believe you believe those urban legends

      C
But I have high hopes someone will point you toward Snopes

C                                         D
And debunk that crazy junk you're spewing constantly

     G                            D
No I don't want a bowl of Chicken Soup for the Soul

      C                      D
Stop forwarding that crap to me

          G                     D
Send more top 10 lists and I'll slash my wrists

             C                      D
Please stop forwarding that crap to me

         Em                        Bm
Well I'm sorry I can't accept your paranoid rant

            C                             D
And I don't want the Neiman Marcus cookie recipe

          G                          D
Won't you kindly refrain, cause it's hurting my brain

     C
Stop forwarding... that crap to me

Am                                    D
Like glittery hearts and unicorns and pictures of somebody's cat

           Am                                 D
Now tell me in what alternate reality would I care about something like that?

                    Em
And by the way your quotes from George Carlin aren't really George Carlin

    Bm
Mr. Rogers never fought the Viet Cong

         C
And Bill Gates is never gonna give me something for nothing

      A
And I highly doubt some dead girl is gonna kill me

A
If I don't pass your letter along...

A          G
Well now I know you're wishing 

     D
I'll sign your petition

          C                      D
But stop forwarding that crap to me

                    G
And I don't want to read your series 

      D
Of conspiracy theories

           C                      D
Just stop forwarding that crap to me

         Em
And your two million loser friends

    Bm
All have my address now

          C                            D
Cause you never figured out the way to BCC

       G
Now I gotta insist

       Em
Take me off of your list

      C         D                G
Stop forwarding-- that crap to me

G                               G - G/F#
Stop forwarding that crap to me

Em                              Em - Em/D
Stop forwarding that crap to me

C                    D
Stop forwarding that crap to me

C - D - G
Ahhhhhhh....