Warren Zevon – Genius (Ukulele)

Dm                       C
I've got a bitter pot of je ne sais quoi

Dm                                  C
Guess what?  I'm stirring it with a monkey's paw

Bb                            A
Since I saw you coming out of my barber's shop

Dm                    Am
In that skimpy little halter top

Dm                                         C
Did you light the candles? Did you put on "Kind of Blue"?

Dm                          C
Did you use that Ivy League voodoo on him, too?

Bb                                A
He thinks he'll be alright but he doesn't know for sure

Dm                          Am
Like every other unindicted co-conspirator

F               C
Mata Hari had a house in France

Dm                          C
Where she worked on all her secret plans

Bb                       A
Men were falling for her sight unseen

          Dm        Am
She was a genius

Dm                                      C
There's a a face in every window of the Songwriters' Neighborhood

Dm                                             C
Everybody's your best friend when you're doing well, I mean good

Bb                                Am
The poet who lived next door when you were young and poor

Dm                           Am
Grew up to be a backstabbing entrepreneur

F                     C
Albert Einstein was a ladies' man

Dm                          C
While he was working on his universal plan

Bb                     A
He was making out like Charlie Sheen

         Dm           Am
He was a genius

Dm                          C
When you dropped me and you staked your claim

Dm                    C
On a V.I.P. who could make your name

Bb                        A
You latched on to him and I became

               Dm         Am
A minor incon-venience

Dm                 C
Your protege don't care about art

Dm                     C
I'm the one who always told you you were smart

Bb                      A
You broke my heart into smithereens

              Dm          Am
And that took genius

Dm                        C
You and the barber make a handsome pair

Dm                                    C
Guess what?  I never liked the way he cut your hair

Bb                       A
I didn't like the way he turned your head

            Dm                        Am
But there's nothing I can do or say I haven't done or said

F                 C
Everybody needs a place to stand

Dm                     C
And a method for their schemes and scams

Bb                     A
If I could only get my record clean

         Dm
I'd be a genius