Voltaire – Straight Razor Cabaret (Guitar)

D Tuning (D-G-C-F-A-D)
Key
-

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Chords

[Note! Whenever you see an asterisk (*), it means to strum down once and very quickly, then palm-mute it.] [Note 2: Tune your guitar a step down, since that's how Voltaire does it. Alternatively, capo on 3rd or 4th.] [Intro]
     Em
In a cafe

                Am
On the Champs-Élysées

                        Em
I saw a girl the other day

          Em
I was beguiled

                 Am
'till I saw her smile

         B7*    B7*        Em
It was a gash across her face
[Verse]
 Em                          Am
Not long ago she found that she was alone

                        Em
So she wandered into a vaudeville show
She should have known it'd be bad
            Am                    B7*             B7* B7* Em
She saw the name that it had: The Straight Razor Ca-ba-ret

    Em              Am
The first act was a stripper

                                  Em
And the host looked like Jack the Ripper

                     Am
But the audience was dreary

          B7*           B7*          B7*  B7*   B7*
And so he slashed them smiles from ear to ear
[Chorus]
          Am
He used a straight-razor

             Em
Cause he's a face raper

            Am*   Am                      Em
And there's nothing he hates more than a stick in the mud

      Am
If he tells a joke

           Em
You better laugh until you choke

       Am             B7  Em
At the Straight Razor Cabaret
[Verse 2]
            Em             Am
When I went down to Camden town

                        Em
I saw a man reading the Bible

                              Am
I won't in haste describe his face

      B7*       B7*   B7*  Em
For I might be sued for libel

Em                           Am
Not long ago he found that he was alone

                      Em
So he wandered into a vaudeville show
He should have known he'd be maimed
           Am
When he discovered the name:

    B7*             B7* B7* Em
The Straight Razor Ca-ba-ret

                             Am
While the strumpet stroked a donkey

                           Em
The host juggled five dead monkeys

                      Am
But the audience were snobs

      B7*     B7*          B7* B7*    B7*
So he took a knife right to their gobs
[Chorus]
          Am
He used a straight-razor

             Em
Cause he's a face raper

            Am*   Am                      Em
And there's nothing he hates more than a stick in the mud

      Am
If he does a trick

           Em
You better laugh until you're sick

       Am             B7   Em
At the Straight Razor Cabaret
[Proceed to 'La' while following this strum pattern] Em Am Am Em Em Am B7 Em (repeat x3 if you want to include the accordion and violin solos, just have fun!) [Chorus]
              Am
They call him straight-razor

             Em
Cause he's a face raper

            Am*   Am                      Em
And there's nothing he hates more than a stick in the mud

      Am                Em
If he pulls a gaffe you bloody up and laugh!

         Am             B7  Em
It's the Straight Razor Cabaret!

         Am             B7  Em
It's the Straight Razor Cabaret!

         Am             B7 B7
It's the Straight Razor Ca~ba~
[Proceed to 'La' while following this strum pattern] Em Am Am Em Em Am B7 Em
Em
Everybody!
[Repeat strum pattern while 'La'ing]
         Am             B7  Em
It's the Straight Razor Cabaret!