Tom Waits – Piano Has Been Drinking (Guitar)

E                  C#m
The piano has been drinking

   F#m         B     B7
My necktie is asleep

        E                  C#m
And the combo went back to New York

   F#m             B      B7
The jukebox has to take a leak

        E              C#m
And the carpet needs a haircut

        F#m                    B      B7
And the spotlight looks like a prison break

          E                  C#m
Cause the telephone's out of cigarettes

        F#m       B      B7
And the balcony's on the make

        E              C#m
And the piano has been drinking

    F#m            B       B7
The piano has been drinking

        E             C#m
And the menus are all freezing

        F#m                  B      B7
And the light man's blind in one eye

       E                    C#m
And he can't see out of the other

        F#m                 B       B7
And the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid

       E                  C#m
And he showed up with his mother

        F#m            B       B7
And the piano has been drinking

    E              C#m
The piano has been drinking

          F#m          B    B7
Cause the bouncer is a sumo wrestler

E                 C#m
Cream puff Casper milk toast

        F#m        B      B7
And the owner is a mental midget

         E         C#m
With the I.Q. of a fencepost

          F#m            B       B7
Cause the piano has been drinking

    E              C#m
The piano has been drinking

    F#m                 B       B7
And you can't find your waitress

E              C#m
With a geiger counter

        F#m                B       B7
And she hates you and your friends

             E                    C#m
And you just can't get served without her

        F#m           B       B7
And the box-office is drooling

        E                  C#m
And the bar stools are on fire

        F#m              B       B7
And the newspapers were fooling

        E                  C#m
And the ash-trays have retired

          F#m              B       B7
Cause the piano has been drinking

    E                C#m
The piano has been drinking

    F#m             B       B7
The piano has been drinking

    E       C#m     F#m     B  B7   
Not me, not me, not me, not me,

    E
not me.