Tim Minchin – The Good Book (Guitar)

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Chords

[Intro]
Bb
Life is like an ocean voyage

F
And our bodies are the ships

C
And without a moral compass

         A                 Dm   Dm/C
We would all be cast adrift

Bb
So to keep us on our bearings

C
The Lord gave us a gift

C7
And like most gifts you get

         C
It was a book
[Verse 1]
  F
I only read one book

           Bb
But it's a good book, don't you know

  C7
I act the way I act because

    C                  F
The Good Book tells me so

     F                F/Eb
If I want to know how to be good

     Bb/D             Bbm/Db
It's to the Good Book that I go

          C7
Cause the Good Book is a book

          F
And it is good and it's a book

  F
I know the Good Book's good because

    Bb
The Good Book says it's good

           C7
I know the Good Book knows it's good

          C                F
Because a really good book would

             F              F/Eb
You wouldn't cook without a cookbook

      Bb/D            Bbm/Db
And I think it's understood

             C7
You can't be good without a Good Book

           F
Cause it's good and it's a book
And it is good for cookin'
  Dm
I tried to read some other books

      A
But I soon gave up on that

    Bb
The paragraphs ain't numbered

         F              C
And they complicate the facts

  A                A/G
I can't read Harry Potter

              D/F#               Dm/F
Cause they're worshiping false gods and that

    G
And Dumbledore's a poofter

           C
And that's bad cause it's not good!

  F
Morality is written there

   Bb
In simple white and black

       C7
I feel sorry for you heathens

       C7              F
Got to think about all that

F                F/Eb
Good is good and evil's bad

    Bb/D
And goats are good

    Bbm/Db
And pigs are crap

       C7
You'll find which one is which

       F
In the Good Book

                           G
Cause it's good and it's a book
And it's a book (yeah!)
  Dm                             A
I had a cat, she gave birth to a litter

    Bb
The kittens were adorable

         F              C
And they made my family laugh

    A                 A/G          Dm/F
But as they grew they started misbehaving

     G                                 C
So I drowned the little fuckers in the bath!

         A                                  Dm
When the creatures in your care start being menaces

    G                                   C
The answers can be found right there in Genesis

        D
Chapter six, verse five through seven! Yee-haw!

G
Swing your partner by the hand

C
Have a baby if you can

D
But if the voices in your head

                      G
Say to sacrifice your kid

G               G7
To satiate your loving God's

C               C7
Fetish for dead baby blood

     D
It's simple faith the book demands
So raise that knife up in your hands
  F
Before the Good Book made us good

          Bb
There was no good way to know

     C
If a thing was good or not-not good

                     F
Or kind of touch-and-go—so

F           F7
God decided he'd give writing

Bb
Allegoric prose a go

    C
And so he wrote a book

           F
And it was generally well-received

    Bb                              F              C
The Telegraph said 'This god is reminiscent of the Norse'

    Bb                                F                  C
The Times said 'Kind of turgid, but I liked the bit with horses'

    A                               Dm
The Mail said 'Lots of massacres; a violent tour-de-force

       G
If you only read one book this year

     C
Then this one is a book

          D
And it is good
And it's a book' Yee-haw!
G
Swing your daughter by the hand

    C
But if she gets raped by a man

    D
And refuses then to marry him
Stone her to death!
   Em                                      B
If you just close your eyes and block your ears

       C                            G                 D
To the accumulated knowledge of the last two thousand years

     B                                      Em
Then morally – guess what? – you're off the hook

          A                                D
And thank Christ you only have to read one book

Dm
Just because the book's contents

     A
Were written generations hence

   Dm
By hairy desert-dwelling gents

A
Squatting in their dusty tents

Em
Just because what Heaven said

B
Was said before they'd leavened bread

Em
Just cause Jesus couldn't read

B
Doesn't mean that we should need

       C
When manipulating human genes

     G
To alleviate pain or fight disease

       C
When deciding whether it's wrong or right

   G
To help the dying let go of life

   D
Or stop a pregnancy when it's

D
Just a tiny blastocyst

        B                              Em
There's no reason why we should take a look

D            C
At any other book

        G/B
But the Good Book

           A
Cause it's good and it's a book

           D
And it's a book and it's quite good!

G                G7/F
Good is good and evil's bad

    C/E                  Cm/E
And kids get killed when God gets mad

    D
You better take a good look

       G
At the Good Book