Tim Minchin – If You Really Loved Me (Ukulele)
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-
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Speed:
1.0x
Chords
Tabbed by: Patrick Cason
Gm [tab] D7/Gb the way you say you do Bb/F If you love me half as much C7/E as I love you Cm7/Eb Bb You would pluck a planet from the sky A D You’d use a star to dot the “i” Gm D7/Gb In I love you... that is what you’d do Bb/F You'd take a dreary day C7/E and you would paint it blue Cm7/Eb Bb If you loved me unconditionally A These are the things D that you would do for me
Because I need you
Like a fish needs the sea
Like a fire needs oxygen
Like a flower needs a bee
And if you really care for me
You’d let me video you while you wee
Standing up in the bath,
I shouldn’t even have to ask
Perhaps you’ll even store
a little more in a flask
These are just the things that people do
A D Gm When their love for one another is true
Ba da da
We go together
Like a cracker and Brie
Like racism and ignorance
Like bling and R&B
But if you really want to show you care
You’d let me wear your underwear
When we visit your mum's,
it's a bit of harmless fun
I just like talking about your childhood
with some lace between my buns
There’s no reason for a big to-do
If your love for one another is true
Ba da da
We go together
Like a bird in a nest
Like Internet and porn
Like guns and the US
And if you love me
like you say that you do
You'd purchase forty cockatoo
And teach them to fly
in formation in the sky
And shit the words “Tim is God”
on my ex-girlfriend’s Hyundai
Sure, it might be easier with doves
But shirking challenges is not what love
Eb Is all about D Eb Love is not all wine and roses D Eb Sometimes it’s handcuffs and cheese C/E F No-one said love is for free Am/E And if you agree with that Cm/Eb You'll sing me passages from the Koran D7 Gm wearing nothing but a Bob the Builder hat
Dmaj#5/Gb (or... D/Gb)
To the tune of waltzing Matilda
Dm/F Gm/E I just love the combination of Islam, Eb/F F E nationalism and buil--der
--*SOLO*-- (Best of luck...)
(Builder)
(Islam)
(Nationalism)
(And a little bitty builder)
(Islam)
(Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy)
(And Bob the fucking Builder)
... (Let Bob the fucking Builder!)
Am Because I need you E7/Ab Like a tick needs a tock C/G Like bananas need pyjamas D7/Gb Like a nun needs cock Dm7/F C But if you want to put your love for me first B E You wouldn’t go through childbirth Am You’d agree to adopt E7/Ab so that you could stay thin C/G We’ll get a Chinese kid, D7/Gb it could teach us Mandarin Dm7/F C And communists don’t make as much noise B And they’re really good E Am G at sharing their toys Cm Because I dig you G/B Like an Aussie digs pies Eb/Bb Like Born-Agains dig Jesus F7/A Like Jesus dug guys Fm7/Ab G And if you love me unconditionally D G You’d do my tax return for me Cm Cos it’s way overdue, G/B and I just don’t know, Eb/Bb I guess I’m self-employed F7/A but do I still pay as I go? Fm7/Ab G And does the threshold apply to me? C G And should I register for GST? C G And if you love me unconditionally A D Gm Would you let me video you while you wee? C Assuming there's nothing worth watching on the ABC