The Longest Johns – Got No Beard (Guitar)

  E                  E
I once met a man who said he was a fan

   E                    B
He wanted to sing in my shanty band

        E                         E
But the bottom of his face looked weird (so weird!)

E
There was skin on his chin that I loathed and feared

E
From his crown to ear he was most sincere

E                                  A   B  E
But you can't sing shanties if you got no beard

A             E
Got no beard, you've got no beard

B                                 E
You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard

A             E
Got no beard, you've got no beard

B                                 E
You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard

E
I once met a girl who heard sea songs

E                             B
She came to the show, and she sang along

E
But the timing of the shout was slow (so slow!)

E
She was graced with a face like the morning glow

E
But a hollar was a blow from the very front row said

E                              A     B      E
You can't sing shanties if you can't shout "Ho!"

A                      E
Can't shout "Ho!" you can't shout "Ho!"

B                              E
You can't sing shanties if you can't shout "Ho!"

A                      E
Can't shout "Ho!", you can't shout "Ho!"

B                          E
You can't sing shanties if you can't shout "Ho!"

E
And you've got no beard

E
I once met a man on a weird machine

E                         B
Had wheels and a bell, no mast to be seen

E
He was shouting from a pad of notes (no notes!)

E                                A B E
And the wheels got caught on his overcoat

E
And he fell from the pier clawing at his throat

E                                 A     B     E
So you can't sing shanties if you don't own a boat

A                     E
Don't own a boat, you don't own a boat

B                              E
You can't sing shanties if you don't own a boat

E                     E
Don't own a boat, you don't own a boat!

B                              E
You can't sing shanties if you don't own a boat

E
And you can't shout "Ho!"

E
And you've got no beard

E
I once met a bloke on a tavern floor

E                       B
He'd had ten beers, but I had ten more

E
And his piggy little face was pink (so pink!)

E
He tried to shout the words, but t'were all out of sync

E
With a voice so bad it'll make you think that

E                              A     B         E
You can't sing shanties if you can't hold your drink

A                          E
Can't hold your drink, you can't hold a drink

B                             E
You can't sing shanties if you can't hold your drink

A                          E
You can't hold a drink you can't hold a drink

B                          E
You can't sing shanties if you can't hold your drink

E
And you don't own a boat

E
And you can't shout "Ho!"

E
And you've got no beard

E
I once met a sailor all big and broad

E                               B
With an eye-patch, parrot and a long curved sword

E
Had a chest like a powder keg (big chest)

E
But he had both shoes, and he smelled like eggs

E
I expect he would look better with a wooden peg

E                                     A   B   E
'Cause you can't sing shanties if you got two legs

A             E
Got two legs, you've got two legs

B                          E
You can't sing shanties if you've got two legs

A             E
Got two legs, you've got two legs

B                          E
You can't sing shanties if you've got two legs

E
And you can't hold your drink

E
And you don't own a boat

E
And you can't shout "Ho!"

E
And you've got no beard

A
Well, Anna's got no beard

E
And Dave, he has a bike

B                                     E
Robbie's father-in-law has boats, but won't sing on the mic

A                                    E
And JD can't shout "Ho!" because his wife takes much offense

B                            E  Gb B
And Andy's got two beautiful hairy legs

               Abdim                     Eb
But there's no reason good enough not to join us

   Eb    Bb            C    F    Bb
So sing along with the very last chorus

A                    E
Got no beard, you've got no beard

B                                 E
You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard

A                    E
Got no beard, you've got no beard

B                                 E
You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard

A                    E
Got no beard, you've got no beard

B                                 E
You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard

A                    E
Got no beard, you've got no beard

B                                 E
You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard

E
And you've got two legs

E
And you can't hold your drink

E
And you don't own a boat

E
And you can't shout "Ho!"

E
And you've got no beard