The Handsome Family – Drunk By Noon (Guitar)

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From the album Milk And Scissors [INTRO] A G D x2 D [VERSE 1]
       A                      G               D
There once was a poodle who thought he was a cowboy

        A                   G            D
But he lived in a cage the size of his thumb

      A                           G      D
And though his white horse was a box of toothpicks

    A                     G        D
He galloped around until hit by a car
D [VERSE 2]
     A                   G           D
And sometimes I flap my arms like a hummingbird

 A                    G           D
Just to remind myself I'll never fly

 A                   G         D
Sometimes I burn my arms with cigarettes

 A                         G           D
Just to pretend I won't scream when I die
D [CHORUS]
       G                       D
If my life was as long as the moon's

      G                      D
I'd still be jealous of the sun

       G                    D
If my life lasted only one day

      Em       G       D
I'd still be drunk by noon
D [INTERLUDE] A G D x4 D [VERSE 3]
     A                         G              D
And sometimes I can't wait to come down with cancer

     A                          G       D
At least then I'll get to watch TV all day

 A                       G          D
And on my deathbed I'll get all the answers

     A                        G      D
Even if all my questions are taken away
D [CHORUS]
       G                       D
If my life was as long as the moon's

      G                      D
I'd still be jealous of the sun

       G                    D
If my life lasted only one day

      Em       G       D
I'd still be drunk by noon

      Em       G       D
I'd still be drunk by noon