Stephen Lynch – Half A Man (Guitar)

   E    G   D   C
E|-0----3----2----0-|
B|-0----0----3----1-|
G|-1----0----2----0-|
D|-2----0----0----2-|
A|-2----2----X----3-|
E|-0----3----X----X-|

       E            
All my days,

   G         D      E
 I live with my disgrace

    G         D       E
I'm afraid to show my face

       G         D      C
Or at least take off my underwear...

          E
See I was born

       G        D        E
Like a half way neutered pet

        G      D        E
I don’t have a matching set

       G       D
It’s a part of me

     C
That just aint there

           E                G
Well I’m a gambling man with out two dice

         E                       G
I’m like Uncle Ben with only one grain of rice

      E                     G
Oh to have two testis would be so nice

         D   C   E
But I’m half a man

          D    C    E
Yeah, I’m half a man

      E
Wanna die

        G        D       E
end it all, just call it quits

        G      D        E
I can’t find a cup that fits

       G        D       C
And at baseball games I feel so dumb

       C
When I hear “ball one?

       E
Oh, my God

          G        D       E
How could you have been so cruel

        G      D      E
To give me one family jewel

        G          D          C
And the one that’s there must feel so sad

       C
He’s a lonely nad

           E                    G
Well I’m a marathon runner with just one leg

      E                    G
I’m a fallopian tube with just one egg

      E
Oh, I want another testi

     G
Do I have to beg?

    D    C E
I’m half a man

         D    C E
Yeah, im half a man

E..G...E...G...E...G...D...C
kinda like chorus

           E                            G
Well I’m a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum

          E                                 G
And I’m a Siskel and an Ebert with just one thumb

          E                          G
And I’m a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum

         D    C  E
I’m just half a man

          D    C  E
Yeah, I’m half a man