Stephen Lynch – A History Lesson (Guitar)

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Stephen: I have to do the vocals for Medieval Bush. Friends: Why? Stephen: Cause I said 1570's muff instead of 1470's muff and the medieval period ended at the beginning of the 16th century. Friends: So thats 1500's. Wait! So how do you know this? Stephen: Cause I used to be a teacher. Friends: (Laugh)You used to be a teacher? Stephen: Yes. Friends: Professor? Stephen: No, I taught elementary school and I got fired because I had an unorthodox way of teaching which is I would bring in my guitar and... I never told you this? Friends: No! Stephen: I would bring in my guitar and I would sing the lessons to the children. Friends: Of course you did. Stephen: I am dead serious. Friends: Yes. Stephen: I am. Alright, alright hold on I'll give you one of the... Let me remember. Alright here's one I remember, okay? This is Ben Franklin. Am C 2x
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Ben Franklin went out one night,

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Tied a key to the end of a kite,

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Electricity struck so bright,
Dm Am (-> not sure about this one) Write it down muthafuckas Friends: You called the kids motherfuckers? Stephen: Some of them were motherfuckers, yes. Friends: Science Stephen: Ummm... okay!
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Issac Newton sat under a tree,

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An apple hit him in the head so he,

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Said holy shit that's gravity,

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Write it down muthafuckas
Stephen: I have a million of these. Friends: Then why don't you do the pilgrims? Stephen: Okay... hey now and...
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Pilgrims raced against the clock,

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Looking for a place to dock,

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They said fuck it here's Plymouth Rock,

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Write it down muthafuckas.
Friends: I don't like the fact that you are implying that the pilgrims were lazy. Stephen: I'm not implying anything. Friend: Wright Brothers. Oooh that's a good one. Stephen: Uh...
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A dude named Orville Wright,

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Told his bro lets invent flight,

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So Wilbur said "ight",

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Write it down muthafuckas
Stephen: Yes, yes Wilbur said "ight" Friend: Wilbur said "ight"? Stephen: In my story he did. Friend: Wilbur was street in your story? Stephen: That's right. Friend: Word. Stephen: See, you can't stump me Friend: Slavery? Stephen: Uh there is nothing funny about slavery... well...
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Abe Lincoln lead the nation,

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Freed slaves form the plantation,

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Emanci-mothafuckin' proclamation,

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Write it down ananem-ops.
Friend: Gandhi! Stephen: Uh... I did not have a Ghandi one. Uh... Alright hold on, hold on, hold on. Gandhi... Uh... alright. (Slowly)
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Gandhi is what you said,

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An Indian with a bald head,

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And he was a bit under fed,

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Write is down muthafuckas!
Stephen: See?! Yeah! Fired from that job! Friend: Your a genius. -------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------- I think this is correct. If you don't think it sounds right, by all means correct me. :-) Enjoy the song!