Starkid – Twisted - No One Remembers Achmed (Guitar)

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Versions (2)

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Chords

(Dsus2 should be played as a barre chord on fret 5) Soldiers: (Alternating)
        F
In your homeland you're a legend

        Cadd9
All the people know your name

       Bb                                F
On the battlefield and off you are superior
Achmed: (Spoken) I know.
        Gm
In the kingdom though I'm finding

        Gm/F#
that my only claim to fame

      Bb                       C
is an incident involving my posterior
Soldiers:
Bb C 
Posterior
Achmed: (Spoken) Please.
         F
I've won scores of bloody wars

    F7         A
And mopped the floors with my foes

    D5               F
But no one remembers Achmed

F7    Bb
I've eviscerated peasants

           D5
From their heads down to their toes

    G5                  C5
But no one remembers Achmed

       Dsus2
Say my name in these parts

           Gm                Gm7
And you'll get a vacant stare

   G7
Until you mention tigers

   C
Or spotted underwear
Soldiers:
C                 B5 C5
Spotted underwear!
Achmed:
        F
So to restore my repute

      A
As a fierce fearsome brute,

        Eb               D7
There's only one route I see

             Gm           C7
Arrange the slaughter of millions

   A7         Dsus4 D
Of innocent civil - ians

Gm             C      F
Then they'll remember me

F F/E D5 C5 x5
(Dialogue)
Soldiers: (Alternating) (Achmed:)
         F
Caked in mud or drenched in blood

             F 
You smell as fresh as a flower
((Spoken) I guess.)
    F                       C
But no one remembers Achmed

         Gm
You can pleasure sixty concubines

    Gm
In only an hour ((Spoken) Less!)

    Gm               G5      
But no one remembers Achmed
Achmed:
A7   Dm
Back home I was a hero

        Gm
Ladies trembled when I spoke

     G
But here the women treats me

       C
Like a throwaway joke
Soldiers:
C7
Throw him away
Achmed:
      F
I'm a god on Earth but darnit

      A
Even deities incarnate

         Eb              D7       Gm
Now and then can feel a little insecure
Soldiers:
    F5
Insecure
Achmed:
(Gm)  Em7
All I want is some affection

      A7
This rejection's almost

               Dm     
Too much to endure...
Soldiers:
     Bb           D7
To endure Look at all he must endure
Gm G/F# E5 D5 x2
F F/E D5 C5 x8
(Dialogue)
Soldiers:
F  F/E Dm  (C) F
You    ooze    sex when you flex

        A  A/G   F5   E5
Those impeccable pecs
Achemd:
        Dm  Dm/C            Cm7
But the princess rejects me still

        Bb  Bb/A    Gm Gm/F
She may not love me yet

        D          D7
But I'm willing to bet

            Gm            Bb         C
That once I kill all her people she will...
Soldiers: Yes she will Yes she absolutely will Achmed:
         Dm
Let them laugh, that's just fine

        Dm/C
But the last laugh will be mine
All:
            Dm6/B                        Bb
'Cause they can't laugh when they're all dead

     Gm            C      C7
I'll make them all regret

             Am          Dm
The day they chose to forget
Achmed:
                     Gm        C
(Spoken) What's that name everyone?
Soldiers:
      Bb
Tiger-fucker!
Achmed: (Spoken) No!
                F    F/E          Dm   C     
(Spoken) Like I said, what's that name?
Soldiers:
            Gm         C
You're the cock of the walk

            Am         D7
With abs as hard as a rock

      Gm             C        F     F/E
Nevermore will they mock you Achmed
Soldier:
D/F#    D7             Gm Gm/F Bb C7
     He fucked a tiger
Achmed: (Spoken) I did not fuck a tiger! Soldiers:
                 F   A  Dm  
They'll remember Achmed...

          C      F   A  Dm  
They'll remember Achmed...

          C      F  A  Dm C#5 C7
They'll remember Achmed...
Achmed:
                 F
They'll remember me...
Soldiers:
F
Tiger fucker, Tiger fucker, Achmed is a tiger fucker!

Bb               
They'll remember Achmed

                  F
The tiger fucking man!