NOFX – Xmas Has Been Xed (Guitar)

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C                                 Dm
It's funny how some fables became historic

G                                         Am
When the authors clearly wrote them to be metaphoric

F                                        C
But people will believe anything if it's written

Dm                               G
Especially in stone or ancient scroll

C                      Dm
December 25th has been blacklisted

G                                         Am
Since Dawkins found the proof Jesus never existed

C                                 F
It was the last thing anyone ever expected

G
Xmas has been X'd

           C                    F
No colored lights, no shopping sprees

        G                   C
No more presents under dead trees

            Am                F
St. Nick is dead but we don't grieve

       G                        C
We celebrate the last Christmas Eve

C                          Dm
Jesuits are slowly turning Dianetic

G                               Am
Protestants increasingly become agnostic

F                                C
Pentecostal churches are hanging pentagrams

Dm                                   G
Priests and Nuns are molesting each other

C                                    Dm
Methodists and Baptists are claiming Buddhist

G                             Am
Evangelicals surprisingly are Nudist

C                                  F
But mostly everyone is trying to become Jew

    G
Cuz Easter's canceled too

            C                F
No more egg hunts, no Sunday mass

            G                      C
Fridays are fair, Wednesdays don't ash

              Am                   F
They canceled lent and slowed down fast

      G                       C  
Enjoy Christmas cuz it's your last

            F
No shopping sprees (don't worry son)

        G                                          C
No more presents (we don't need Christ) under dead trees (we got eight nights)

            Am                                 F
St. Nick is dead (we got mitzvah) but we don't grieve (they won't cancel)

       G                                      C
We celebrate (our hanukah) the last Christmas eve