Ninja Sex Party – No Reason Boner (Guitar)

                                        Am7 D7 Am7 D7 Am7 D7 Am7
This song is about a problem that I have

N.C.       Am7 D7 Am7 D7 Am7 D7 A7 Bb7 B7 C7
Frequently

          Dm7                            F7
There are three, three, three kinds of erections

         Bb
Some are sexual

                  Bm7b5              E7(#9)
Some occur during periods of nervous tension

    Dm7
But there's a mysterious third kind

     F7
That no one really understands

   Bb
It happens when your shlong decides

        Bm7b5                E7(#9)
To take matters into its own hands

           Am7
No reason boner

          Dm7
No reason boner

   F7            E7(#9)
It baffles scientists

          Am7         A7 Bb7 B7 C7
No reason boner

     Dm7
This morning I was having breakfast

F7
At the Midtown diner

    Bb
The bagel was delicious

        Bm7b5                E7(#9)
And the coleslaw couldn't be finer

        Dm7
I got a weird look from the waitress

       F7
When I asked her for the check

Bb
I looked down and realized

          Bm7b5           E7(#9)
I was one hundred percent erect

          Am7
No reason boner

          Dm7
No reason boner

       F7                    E7(#9)
I like coleslaw but not that much

          Am7
No reason boner

Bb7
Hi! Welcome to the post office

Bb7
Thanks! I just need to mail this package

Bb7
No problem, just place it on the scale

Bb7
Sure thing!

              B7
Oh! Oh god! I, I can't right now!

B7
Why not?

B7
I, I have to go, I have a, uh

                                       A7 Bb7 B7 C7
Doctor's appointment at the dentist's!

    Dm7
Now things are a little awkward

        F7
Between my mailman and I

Bb
That was not my best lie

           Bm7b5           E7(#9)
I was just covering up for my

          Am7
No reason boner

          Dm7
No reason boner

             F7                       E7(#9)
That was the wrong kind of package to mail

          Am7
No reason boner

Bb7
Hi! Welcome to the zoo!

Bb7
Great! I love the zoo! Look at all those monkeys!

Bb7
Actually, those technically aren't monkeys, they're macaques

    B7
Wow! Macaque's really hairy

                                      C7
Uh, so, what time does the zoo close?

C7
About eight o'clock

C7
Great! That gives me a chance t- Oh god

C7
Oh, not not now! Not in front of the children!

                         A7        Bb7 B7 C7
Why have you forsaken me lord!?

     Dm7
This is no laughing matter

        F7
This is not some kind of game

      Bb
I can tuck away my Johnson

          Bm7b5               E7(#9)
But I can never tuck away the shame

       Dm7
It can happen anytime

       F7
It can happen anywhere

Bb
When the Loch Ness Monster

                    Bm7b5                E7(#9)
Decides he wants to randomly come up for air

          Am7
No reason boner, oh

          Dm7
No reason boner

       F7         E7(#9)
You're ruining my life

          Am7    Ab7 G7 F7
No reason boner

          Am7    Ab7 G7 F7
No reason boner

          Am7    Ab7 G7 F7 G7
No reason boner

Am9
Why?