Misc Traditional – Russian Chastushki (Guitar)

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Down the river drifts an axe 

E                Am
From the town of Byron

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Let it float by itself-

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Fucking piece of iron!!!

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I was sleeping with my honey

E          Am
Absоlutely naked,

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I have taken my panties off

E              Am
Just to make a statement.

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Fish in thick tomato sauce

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Swims in happy comatose

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Only me, pathetic wimp

E               Am
Have no fucking place to swim.

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Starlet’s fallen from the heavens

E             Am
Right into my boyfriend's briefs,

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I don't mind his roasted penis

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If it helps us live in peace.

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Girls have called me to the party

E         Am
I decided not to come,

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It's because my clothes are ugly

E           Am
And my dick is a tiny one.

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Time has shifted for an hour —

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What a mess on globe

Dm            Am 
Dick was hard before wakeup,

E           Am
Now it's up at work.

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In a tree a duck got stuck

E           Am
Noble eagle fucked that duck

Dm            Am 
You can hear branches crack

E           Am
Sqeaky-dick and fucky-quack!

Dm         Am
Guy Miron shows such a trick:

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Crow is sitting on his dick

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And as soon as starts to croak -

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Has he boner on his cock

Dm        Am
Old Ivan Ilyich and I

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Used to work at a CI

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He’s a fuckhead, so am I

E                 Am
Someone’s filched our CI.

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You are fine if you are steadfast

E            Am
In relations with milkmaid.

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You get wholesome milky breakfast

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And occasionally laid.

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Nick is crossing village slowly —

E         Am
Outside it is cold and snowy.

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But his dick is up and running

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Just in case if something’s coming.

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Girls had a fight at country hut

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Over who got hairiest cunt.

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Well, more hair of the most

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Had the beaver of the host.

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You were mine the other day,

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Mike is screwing you today.

Dm            Am 
He’s got cock as thick as trees

E                 Am
On the Shishkin’s masterpiece.

Dm            Am
Have you seen four dicks together

E            Am
Dancing on a mountain peak?

Dm           Am 
And one dick had fucked another

E            Am
But with yet another dick.

Dm           Am
My advice to future bride:

E                 Am
Don’t get married, silly!

Dm              Am 
Morning comes — your boobs aside,

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Snatch is rumpled illy.

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Nick is sitting at the door,

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Neither dancing, singing nor,

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He is sitting, deaf and dumb,

E              Am
Thinking only "Whom to hump?"

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Coffee pot’s a bit unstable

E            Am
Dishes fall around

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Fucking on a little table

E           Am
Makes a lot of sound

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Two of us — me and my buddy

E            Am
Giving gifts to everybody

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You get daughter, you get son

E          Am
Patriotic duty’s done

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Wife is telling her old man:

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"Book me U.S. fare!"

Dm            Am
"Stupid cunt! Don’t think you can —

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Trains aren’t going there!"

Dm         Am
I was in a horny mood

E          Am
And I blew Stepan

Dm          Am
He is smart and looking good,

E            Am
Salty on the tongue

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Kids are asking uncle Peck:

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Why’s there wire on your neck?

Dm            Am
Uncle has no words to spare

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Swinging calmly in the air.