Misc Traditional – Plastic Jesus (Guitar)

G
I don't care if it rains or freezes

C
As long as I've got my plastic Jesus

G                             D
Riding on the dashboard of my car

G
Comes in colors pink and pleasant

C
Glows in the dark 'cause he's iridescent

G                 D                      G
Take Him with you when you're travelling far

G              C
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus

G                             D
Riding on the dashboard of my car

G
Through my trials and tribulations

C
And my travels 'cross the nation

G               D             G
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far

G
When I'm in a traffic jam

C
He don't care if I say damn

G                             D
I can let all sorts of curses roll

G
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear

C
For he has a plastic ear

G                    D                G
The man who invented plastic saved my soul

G              C
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus

G                             D
Riding on the dashboard of my car

G
Once his robe was snowy white

C
Now it isn't quite so bright

G              D             G
Stained by the smoke of my cigar

G
If I weave around at night

C
And the police think I'm tight

G                                  D
I don't worry that they'll find my stash

G
Plastic Jesus shelters me

C
For His head comes off, you see

G            D             G
And voila, I have a secret flask

G              C
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus

G                             D
Riding on the dashboard of my car

G
Ride with me and have a dram

C
Of the blood of the Lamb

G             D         G
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar

G
When my babe and I go parkin'

C
Fornicating in the dark

G                                D
I don't have to think she'll get PG

G
I have no worries and no cares

C
Because the raincoat that he wears

G             D                  G
Serves a dual purpose, don't you see

G              C
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus

G                             D
Riding on the dashboard of my car

G
He don't slip and he don't slide

C
Because his ass is magnetized

G              D               G
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car

G
Riding home one foggy night

C
With my honey cuddled tight

G                                    D
I missed a curve and off the road we veered

G
My windshield, it got smashed-up good

C
And my darling graced the hood

G              D           G
Plastic Jesus, He had disappeared

G              C
Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus

G                                 D
No longer chides me with His holy grin

G
Doctors in the X-ray room

C
Found Him in my darling's womb

G              D               G
Someday, maybe he'll be born again!

G              C
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus

G                             D
Riding on the dashboard of my car

G
Through my trials and tribulations

C
And my travels 'cross the nation

G               D             G
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far