Misc Traditional – Away With Rum (Guitar)
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[Verse 1]
G D7 G We're coming, we're coming, our brave little band, D7 G On the right side of temperance we do take our stand. D7 G G We don't use tobacco because we do think D7 G That the people who use it are likely to drink.
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 2]
G D7 G We never touch honey, it turns into mead, D7 G And stealing from insects is the worst sort of greed D7 G G Oh can you imagine a man with DTs D7 G Pursued by a swarm of mad, pink bumblebees?
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 3]
G D7 G We never use lotion when we shave our chins D7 G Cause osmosis lets all the alcohol in D7 G G Can you imagine what people will say D7 G When you're under the basin, osmosed for the day?
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 4]
G D7 G We never eat chocolate because it has nuts D7 G And the least little bite turns a girl to a slut D7 G G Oh can you imagine a sorrier mess D7 G Than a girl eating chocolate and trying to undress?
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 5]
G D7 G We never eat peaches because they ferment D7 G And a peach will ferment with the least little dent D7 G G Oh can you imagine a sorrier sight D7 G Than a man eating peaches until he gets tight?
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 6]
G D7 G Oh we-ee have Viceroy for the ma-an who thinks D7 G And we-ee have Ban for the man who stinks D7 G G But thinking and stinking they don't bother me D7 G I take care of both with Te-e-ton Tea!
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 7]
G D7 G We don't drink Coke or Pepsi, they're made from cocaine, D7 G And you might as well shoot it right into your vein. D7 G G Oh, can you imagine a sorrier bind D7 G Than rotting your teeth while blowing your mind.
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 8]
G D7 G We never drop tea, cause it comes from a pot, D7 G And that could be evil as likely as not, D7 G G We don't mind the taste, but it's really bad news, D7 G To get busted for holding what Tom Lipton brews.
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 9]
G D7 G We don't step on grapes because that's making wine, D7 G And one single stomp turns a man to a swine. D7 G G Can you imagine a fouler defeat, D7 G Than a man getting stonkered by licking his feet?
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 10]
G D7 G Shun girls who are witty and pretty and kind D7 G There's nothing like love for corrupting your mind. D7 G G At least in -our- circle it just isn't done D7 G Our kids are adopted; we -never- have fun.
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 11]
G D7 G We don't buy any cereal because its called mush D7 G And one little bite turns a kid to a lush D7 G G Oh, can you imagine the pain of a Ma D7 G To watch little Junior act just like his Pa!
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 12]
G D7 G We don't take any rub-downs, stiff muscles to cure D7 G Because alcohol turns a man to a boor D7 G G O, can you imagine a sorrier fate: D7 G Than a man getting mass-aged 'till he can't stand up straight?
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 13]
G D7 G We don't allow backrubs, we think they're a crime D7 G We will always condemn them in song or in rhyme D7 G G An alcohol backrub is worse than straight gin: D7 G When you think of the liquor absorbed thru your skin!
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 14]
G D7 G We don't watch television because its a sin D7 G To exhibit the body of a nude Rin-Tin-Tin D7 G G And all those bad cowboys a-shooting their guns! D7 G And a-shooting again when they show the re-runs!
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 15]
G D7 G When you go out dining, you're tempted to eat D7 G All the delicacies on a menu elite D7 G G Remember this warning, on wine we've a ban; D7 G Try spaghetti and meatballs and -not- coq au vin!
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 16]
G D7 G We never drink milk, that's where kumiss comes from D7 G And one tiny sip makes a Mongoloid bum! D7 G G Oh, can you imagine a sadder disgrace D7 G Than a stone blind drunk Mongol with milk on his face?
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 17]
G D7 G We never touch coffee, it makes our eyes gleam D7 G At least, when they add irish whiskey and cream D7 G G Oh, can you imagine a fate so unkind D7 G Than slugging down coffee, and getting stone-blind?
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 18]
G D7 G Since eggnog is evil, we never eat eggs D7 G Give way to one sin and who knows what comes neggst? D7 G G There might be excuses for brandy or gin D7 G But who wants DTs on account of some hen?
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 19]
G D7 G We wish you'd avoid putting ice in your drink D7 G It harms your intestines and palate, we think D7 G G And if you escape that, it still isn't nice D7 G To wake up hung over because of bad ice!
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 20]
G D7 G We never drink water, they mix it with gin D7 G Just one little sip and a man starts to grin D7 G G Oh, can you imagine a sillier clunk D7 G Than a man swigging water until he's geshtunk?
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 21]
G D7 G Now if you ride railroads with bar-cars on trains D7 G You're giving the Devil the key to your brains D7 G G Think of a story that's sadder to tell D7 G Than to start from Grand Central and wind up in Hell!
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 22]
G D7 G We never eat jelly, they make it with wine D7 G And one little bite turns a man to a swine D7 G G Can't you envision, in Hell he will roast, D7 G That teen-ager drunk on his jelly and toast!
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 23]
G D7 G We never use mouthwash, we know very well D7 G That those who taste alcohol go straight to Hell D7 G G Oh, can you imagine a sorrier scene D7 G Than a man down in Hell 'cause he used Listerine?
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 24]
G D7 G We never eat choc'late, 'cause its just like sex D7 G The endorphins will make you a moral wreck D7 G G You'll finish the bag-full, all covered with sweat.... D7 G And then you just -gotta- have a cigarette!
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 25]
G D7 G We don't read Science-Fiction, 'cause its too complex D7 G And Heinlein and Farmer just talk about sex! D7 G G That Lazarus Long is a Dirty Old Man D7 G He's a Bad Example to set for a Fan!
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 26]
G D7 G We never drink tea, for they mix it with wine D7 G And one little drink turns a man to a swine D7 G G Oh can you imagine a sorrier sight D7 G Than a man drinking tea, and singing all night?
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 27]
G D7 G We never use money, 'cause that's gam-bol-in' D7 G And that, my good friends, is surely a SIN D7 G G Our life may be simple, it's surely a bore D7 G But what else can you do when you tend to be poor?
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 28]
G D7 G We never sing folk songs, they're evil and crude D7 G They celebrate Sin, and their language is lewd D7 G G The language is shocking, the politics vile D7 G And their grammar and rhetoric ain't got no style!
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 29]
G D7 G When you meet a folk singer, you haven't much choice D7 G But to sit there and listen while they prove they have no voice D7 G G And the shockingest thing to imagine by far D7 G Is a girl with a G-string....upon her guitar!
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 30]
G D7 G We don't listen to folk songs, it isn't our dish D7 G We don't like Bob Kanefski, and -hate- Leslie Fish! D7 G G We know all the folkers will wind up in Hell D7 G And besides, all them folksongs have a real Fish-y smell!
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 31]
G D7 G We don't listen to Rock, 'cause it's Satan's own vice D7 G And the people who sing it are not very nice D7 G G Oh can you imagine, it fills us with dread D7 G Me and the Bangles all sharing a bed!
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 32]
G D7 G We don't mess with computers, they're the Devil's own thing D7 G And one little byte puts your mind in a sling! D7 G G Oh can you imagine a sorrier sight D7 G Than a computer-nerd taking byte after byte!
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 33]
G D7 G We don't play medieval, we think it's a cult D7 G They wear funny clothing; they're quite difficult. D7 G G Oh can you imagine a worse thing to say D7 G Than to say you're a member of the SCA?
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 34]
G D7 G So drinking and eating and loving you see, D7 G Are bound to destroy Spi-ri-tu-al-i-ty. D7 G G Our tastes are austere and our virtue is sure. D7 G We don't have much fun, but our honor is pure.
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.
[Verse 35]
G D7 G We're coming, we're coming, our brave little band D7 G On the right side of Temperance we do take our stand D7 G G We tug it out daily because we do think D7 G That once you start screwing, you're likely to drink!
[Chorus]
G Away, away with rum, by gum, D7 G With rum by gum with rum, by gum. D7 G The song of the Temperence Union.