Misc Television – Spitting Image - Ive Never Met A Nice South African (Guitar)

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Chords

[Intro] Em Bm Am Bm Em [Verse 1]
     Em                                    Bm
I've travelled this old world of ours from Barnsley to Peru,

         Em                            Bm
I've had sunstroke in the arctic and a swim in Timbuktu,

          Em                      Bm
I've seen unicorns in Burma and a Yeti in Nepal,

         Em                                Bm
And I've danced with ten foot pygmies in a Montezuma hall,

     Am              Bm          C                 D
I've met the King of China and a working Yorkshire miner -

Em                              Bm
But I've never met a nice South African!
[Chorus 1]
         C           D          G
No, he's never met a nice South African,

    C          D           G
And that's not bloody surprising, man!

               C        D          G
'Cause we're a bunch of arrogant bastards,

               D   G
Who hate black people!
[Verse 2]
  Em                               Bm
I once got served in Woolies after less than four week's wait,

      Em                                Bm
I had lunch with Rowan Atkinson when he paid and wasn't late,

  Em                                     Bm
I know a public swimming bath where they don't piss in the pool,

  Em                                Bm
I know a guy who got a job straight after leaving school,

     Am           Bm            C             D
I've met a normal merman, and a fairly modest German -

         Em                     Bm
But I've never met a nice South African!
[Chorus 2]
         C           D          G
No, he's never met a nice South African,

    C          D           G
And that's not bloody surprising, man!

               C        D          G
'Cause we're a bunch of talentless murderers,

               D G
Who smell like baboons.
[Verse 3]
     Em                           Bm
I've had a close encounter of the twenty-second kind,

       Em                           Bm
That's when an alien spaceship disappears up your behind,

      Em                        Bm
I got directory enquiries after less than forty rings,

     Em                          Bm
I've even heard a decent song by Paul McCartney's Wings,

     Am            Bm        C                D
I've seen a flying pig, in a quite convincing wig,

         Em                     Bm
But I've never met a nice South African!
[Chorus 3]
         C           D          G
No, he's never met a nice South African,

    C          D           G
And that's not bloody surprising, man!

               C        D          G
'Cause we're a bunch of ignorant loudmouths,

                 D G
With no sense of humour.
[Verse 4]
     Em                               Bm
I've met the Loch Ness monster and he looks like Fred Astaire,

       Em                     Bm
At the BBC in London he's the chief commissionaire,

  Em                               Bm
I know a place in Glasgow which is rife with daffodillies,

  Em                        Bm
I met a man in Katmandu who claimed to have two willies,

     Am             Bm               C           D
I've had a nice pot noodle, but I've never had a poodle -

         Em                     Bm
And I've never met a nice South African.
[Chorus 4]
         C           D          G
No, he's never met a nice South African,

    C          D           G
And that's not bloody surprising, man!

        C           D       G
Because we've never met one either!

  C        D       G                D                 G
Except for Breyten Breytenbach, and he's emigrated to Paris. (farts)
[Coda]
     C            D          G
Yes, he's quite a nice South African,

    C           D           G
And he's hardly ever killed anyone,

    C        D         G
And he's not smelly at all.

                         D  G
That's why we put him in prison!