Misc Television – Last Week Tonight - Eat Shit Bob (Guitar)

F
We went to court

C#
Against the world's worst sport

    Eb                               Bb
And learned important lessons on the way

   F
We spoke with perfect candor

    D
And got accused of slander

       G                Am         D
'Cause Bob Murray wants to make us pay

   Eb
So even though he'll threaten

G
Legal armageddon

Eb               Bb
We have just one tiny thing to say:

C                 D
Bob Murray can go fuck himself today!

C                     D
Ladies and gentlemen, to help me better respond to Bob Murray's complete bullshit,

       Bb                      F
please welcome to the show The Suck My Balls, Bob Dancers!

D               Am
Murray, Murray, Murray, Murray

C
  Hey, Bob!

G
  Watch this!

   G           C
He went to the Louvre and spit in Mona Lisa's face

         F                          Ab
Filled a rocket with puppies and he shot it into space

   Am               C                                D
He bludgeoned Nancy Kerrigan and watched her cry for fun (Why?)

            G                                        C
He murdered Archduke Ferdinand and started World War One!

        C
That's right, if we discuss Bob Murray in a way

   D
no reasonable person could construe as factual,

                                C
we can say whatever the fuck we like! So come on everyone,

                          G
let's head to the streets!

C#
Ahhh

Eb      Ab
Murray, Wow!

       C#                               E                   C#
He'll stroll into a stranger's home and jizz right in their Wheaties

   Eb                            F#m
He watches “Steel Magnolias” and roots for diabetes

   Bb
He wrote the Macarena

       C#                Eb
And he dots his I's with hearts

                C#
And even worse, he likes to blame

  C#
Malala for his farts!

C#
Hey! What's the big idea?

                                     Eb                C#
We're using protected speech to tell Bob Murray to eat shit!

                C#
Bob Murray?! Is that the guy who dipped his balls in my hot dog water?

       C#
That's exactly who I'm talking about!

               F
Can I bring my cart?

          Bb
It's not ideal

         C#
It'll be fine if I leave it here, right?

        Eb
I DON'T KNOW!

G
Murray, Murray

   D
He doesn't like Tom Hanks

   B
He cut off Van Gogh's ear

     C              G
Told Hitler to quit painting and to find a new career

   B
He masturbates to Schindler's List

    Ab
Old Yeller makes him hard

       E
He was Cosby's drug supplier

                  D
Jeffrey Epstein's prison guard!

                                        D
I have something very important to say

G
One day at the M&M Store

Am
Bob Murray walked through the door

   D
He wasn't wearing pants that day

    D
His dick and balls on full display (Full display!)

    G
He grabbed M&M's from a bowl

    C
And crammed them up his (Anal Hole!)

    D
He spread his buttcheeks far and wide

                                      Am
He told the tourists to look inside! (Look inside?)

   Eb
He said "My rectum's full of treats!

B
Reach in there and grab some sweets!

 E
(Grab some sweets!)

                                     G
These are all real things Bob Murray did!

                  D
See you in court, fuckface!

D
Look! It's Mr. Nutterbutter!

                                    D                     E
We're singing about Bob Murray! I believe you've heard of him?

                    C#
You mean the Zodiac Killer?

           C#
That's the one!

                                                            B
Well, my friends and I have a little something to say about him!

Ab
Bob

    C#
Bob Murray

Bb
Is

  C#
A furry

        Bb        Eb
Putting aside our personal quarrel

Ab
The man fucks

Ab
Squirrels!

C#            Ab
The man fucks squirrels!

Bb
Eat Shit, Bob

F#m
Eat Shit, Bob

     E
Hey! I know where we should go!

C
Ooooh, Aaaah

F#m
Murray, Murray

B         C#
Eat shit, Bob and...

E
Hey, Bob!

              C#
Is this is as bad as you feared?

   F#m
It doesn't count as slander!

 Am
'Cause it's way too weird

C#
We made up these anecdotes

        C#
They're silly and insane

   F#m             B
We could go on and on and on

    E             C#
And on and on and on and on

    F#m               Eb
But we will stop this song

              C#
Who knows, we may have fried your brains

   C
So eat!

F#m
    shit!

B   E D C# C Am E
    Boooooooooooob!