Misc Television – Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - The Miracle Of Birth (Guitar)
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Speed:
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Chords
[Intro]
D Bm D Bm D Bm D Bm
[Verse 1]
D Bm Of all the mystery and wonder D Bm And beauty on this earth D A Bm Nothing can compare to G A D The miracle of birth Bm Well your cervix has been closed D And plugged with mucus Bm But soon that viscous plug A Will be discharged
It's called the bloody show!
D Bm And explosive diarrhea D A Bm Means that labor's drawing nearer Em And those sharp painful contractions A Cause your cervix to enlarge
Beautiful!
D Then you race your ass Bm D Over to the hospital
Where they'll strap you in
Bm A For the hell ride of your life
It's what your body's made for
D Bm You'll soon be in so much pain D A Bm That you'll probably exclaim Em "Please just kill me now A Doctor, doula, or midwife!"
[Chorus]
G D Tear, tear, tear A Goes your vagina! G Never will it be D A Its cute little self again G But the good news is D A Bm If you have a few more kids Em The rest will basically A D Plop right out
[Verse 2]
Bm After hours and hours D Of utter torture
You may poop yourself and/or
Bm A Throw up as you bear down
Cause you're a goddess!
D And though you've never Bm Been this tired Wait! D A Bm Here comes the ring of fire Em That's your vagina bursting A Into flames as the head
Starts to crown
[Chorus]
G D Burn, burn, burn A Goes your vagina! G And you'll curse and scream D A Until you hear a cry!
It's your baby!
G And oops! There it went-a D A Bm That was the placenta Em Which you must expel A D Or you will surely die!
[Verse 3]
D When it's all over they place Bm D The baby on your breast Bm You may be happy for a moment A But then for months you'll be depressed D Bm 'Cause you've wrecked your life and body D Bm You'll think "What's it really worth?" D A Bm Em A D All that for the miracle of birth!