Misc Musicals – The 25Th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee - My Unfortunate Erection Chips Lament (Guitar)

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[CHIP, spoken] Db Fritos! M&M’s? Oreos! All for one dollar! It is tradition
        Ebm
That the person eliminated

Am
From the competition

   Adim                          Db
Is fair-game for derision

               Gbm
Especially the alpha-male

Ab                                    Db
Who'll sell goodies at the bake sale
Anyone for brownies? Anyone for choc'late chips?
Gb                                   Db
Anyone for anything that isn’t dated?

Ab7
How could I

         Gb
Have been

         Ab  Ab7
Elimina - ted?

                                  Ab  Ab7
You wanna know how?

                            Ab  Ab7
You wanna know how?

                           Ab  Ab7
You wanna know why?

Db                             Bbm7
My unfortunate erection

Eb7               Ab7
Is destroying my perfection

Db        Dbm  Ebm7
It is my reco - llection

        Db                        Gb
That everything I once did
I did perfectly
Db B                Gb
     "Last year’s champ defeated!"

A                Db
Because of
Marigold Coneybear
                           Gb
Because there’s something

                F           Db
And not a thing between us

   Ebm7
I don’t blame my brain

        Ab
But I do blame my penis

Db                                Bbm7
My unfortunate protuberance

Eb7                       Ab7
Seems to have its own exuberance

A
Anyone for M&M’s?
Delicious and appropriate
Db
Anyone for Chewy Goobers?
Expensive
Eb
Anyone for buying the shit that I’m selling?

     Ab
Because my stiffy has ruined my spelling

Db     Ab Db
    Ere - ction

   B
Erection

            Bbm               Ebm Bbm Db
My unfortunate erec - tion

        B
Whoa

Ab                              Ab5
   It’s ruining my life
It’s ruining my world
       Ab
It’s ruining my ruining

                                       Db Gb
Ruining, ruining my life

        Db Gb  Db
My life!

                                                       F             F7
Adulthood brings its own peculiar rejection

               Ab                                        Db
Which is why I’m selling this PTA confection

                               Gb Bbm7
It will ruin your complexion

A                                   Ab   Db Gbm  Ab
    All because of my unfor - tu - nate

 Gbm Ab Db  A
Erec   -   tion

Gbm  Db
Oh,   God!