Misc Musicals – Death Becomes Her - Tell Me Ernest (Guitar)

   Ebm                             Ab5
So tell me, Ernest, what would you do to me? Aesthetically?

  Ebm             B                    Eb
A lift, a tuck, a freeze, a suck, some filler in the chin?

               Bb
Oh, goodness, no

            Ebm                              Ab
No, really, tell me, Ernest, if you had your way with me

B                Ebm                   Eb
Medically, are we talking face, chest, thighs, breasts?

    Ab5
Oh, God, I don't know where to begin

Bb     Ebm                  Gb
  What about the vein on my leg?

              Ab             B
I stressed it out from doing squats on the reg

   F                              Bb
Do you have time on Tuesday to squeeze me in?

                                   Ebm
I told you, Ernest doesn't really do that

                                  Abm
But she's a friend, Tuesday's doable

    B
Mm, doable, huh?

    Ebm            B Eb                Ab5             B
So, tell me, Ernest, how much have you seen of me, cinematically?

    Ebm                                                          N.C.
The roms, the coms, the rom-coms, the dramas, the dramedies, the straight-to-DVDs

    Ebm            B                   Ab5
No, really, Ernest, how often have you watched me?

B
 Uh, sporadically

Bb
What?

  Ebm                                 Eb
I really liked the one where you were fighting with a sword

           Ebm            Gb
You know I did all my own stunts

       Abm               B
I only injured all of my co-stars once

    F7                             Bb7
Now swordplay foreplays one of my specialties

Eb  N.C.                  Ab
    I must be boring you senseless

N.C.                          Ab
I'm just so thrilled that you both are here

Eb            G7          Cm                     F
Treat her well, I haven't seen Hel this happy in years

F
Well, here, here

           F
Thank you, Mad, so sincere

Ab
Cheers

               Eb      N.C.
I'm so glad we did this

Eb                                              Ab
 Well, this has been so much fun, but oh, gosh, look at the time

            Eb
Oh, please, you don't have anywhere else to be

    Ab            B
Our Helen, always worrying

    Ebm            Ab
But tell me, Ernest

                   Ab5
How's Helen in the sack?

     B     Bb
Just curious

     Ebm
I've known this girl for twenty years

    Ab                          Abm          B
And never have I ever heard her make a uh-uh-woah

    B
Oh, lighten up, Ernest

                     Abm
We should be heading back

             B      Bb
Uh-oh, she's furious

         Ebm
Come on, Hel

Abm    N.C.
   Ooh, we've only begun

  Ebm                  Gb
A toast to friends for life

                     Abm
That's right, you're stuck with me, Ernie

B
Thank your wife

    Fm                      Ebm
Well, it's been fun, but we gotta go

Dm                      Db7
I think I'm done, gotta hit the road

Gb
 I must be boring you senseless

B
Oh, we must be boring you

Gb                               Abm B
 I'm just so thrilled that we're out of here

Gb         Bb
 We should do this again

Ebm         Eb
 How's next week?

           Ab
How's next year?

B Gb    Adim Gbm
Cheers, cheers

   A
I'm so glad

B
 So fucking glad