Misc Musicals – Beetlejuice - The Whole Being Dead Thing (Ukulele Live)

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Chords

[BETELGEUSE, sung]
F#
Hey, folks! Begging your pardon!

D
‘Scuse me! Sorry to barge in

B                                           A
Now let’s skip the tears and start on the whole

       G#
Y’know
Being dead thing
F#m
You’re doomed! Enjoy the singing

D
The sword of Damocles is swinging

B
And if I hear your cell-phone ringing

      A
I’ll kill you myself

     G#m
The whole being dead thing!

Bm
Death can get a person stressed

     F#
“We should have carpe’d way more diems
Now we’re never gonna see ‘em!"
G#m
I can show you what comes next

                   C#
So don’t be freaked

                   D
Stay in your seats
I do this bullshit, like, eight times a week!
C#
So just relax, you’ll be fine
Drink your fifty-dollar wine And take a breath! [ENSEMBLE] Welcome to a show about death! [BETELGEUSE]
F#
You’re…

                 E
You’re gonna be fine…

        B
On the other side…

F#
DIE! YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE! YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE!

F#
I'll...

              E
I’ll be your guide...

       B
To the other side…
[ENSEMBLE]
D                                C#
Oh, and full disclosure: It’s a show about death!
[BETELGEUSE]
Gm
Everybody gets on fine here

     D#
Like Rodgers, Hart, and Hammerstein here

C
The women’s bathroom has no line here
Just... N.C. Pee where you want!
    A
The whole being dead thing!

Gm
You’re just gonna love the folks here

D#
Yeah, I know you’re woke, but you can take a joke here!

     C
And every show I do, like, a TON of coke here
The whole- [heavy sniffing] PAH-HAH! The whole being dead thing!
Cm
Nobody is bullet-proof!

G
“I work out, I eat clean!”

Gm              F
Jesus, pass the Dramamine

Cm
Time to face the brutal truth:

       Dm
‘Cause we’re all on a hitlist
Might not live ‘till Christmas Choke to death on Triscuits Hey, that’s just statistics
    D#
So take a little break here

G#m
Kinda like a wake here

     D#m
The scenery is fake here

      D#            D#m
But there's a giant snake here!
|Gm| |Gm| |Gm| |A#m| |C#| [ENSEMBLE]
D#
Welcome to a show about death!
[BETELGEUSE]
G
You’re…

                 G7
You’re gonna be fine…
THANK YOU!
        D
On the other side…
HOW YOU DOIN’?
C
Woah! Not good!

  G            F
Ba-be-ba-ba-be-bo-boo-bap-boop!

Fm
I’ll…

        D#m
I’ll be your guide!

             A# C
To the other side!
N.C. Seriously, though, this is a show about- [ENSEMBLE]
A#m                                        Fm
Death is taboo, but it’s hardly something new

                 A#m
There’s nothing medical professionals can do

       F          Fm
'Cept maybe just bill you
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] If you die while listening to this album
                               F  D#
It's still gonna keep playing
[ENSEMBLE]
            A#m
There’s no destiny or fate

       Fm
Just a terrifying wait

            A#m
Filled with people that you hate

             D#                       C
And on a certain date, the universe kills you!
[BETELGEUSE] N.C. That’s the thing with life:
                      A#
No-one makes it out alive!

C              D      Cm
Toss that body in the pit

 G
“Gosh, it’s awful, ain’t it tragic?”

                      F
“Blah, blah, Bible Jesus magic.”

Cm
When you’re dead, who gives a shit?

Gm
No pilates, no more yoga!
“Namaste”, you freakin’ posers
Cm
From the cradle to cremation

A#
Death just needs a little conversation!

D
I have mastered the art (Dies Irae!)

                   D#   D
Of tearing convention apart (Dies Irae!)

     D
So, how about we all make a start (Dies Irae!)

        G#   D      G
On the whole being dead thing!
[ALL]
D                                                G
God, I hope you’re ready for a show about death!