Loudon Wainwright III – The Man Who Couldnt Cry (Guitar Acoustic)

                     G                          D
There once was a man who just couldn't cry

                                A
He hadn't cried for years & for years

                      G
Napalmed babies & the movie 'Love Story'

                       A                E
For instance could not produce tears

     D                  A                     G
As a child he had cried as all children will

                                 A
But at some point the tear ducts ran dry

                      G
He grew to be a man & the feces hit the fan

           D                   A
Things got bad but he couldn't cry

                      G                         D
His dog got run over, his wife up & left him

                                  A
After that he got sacked from his job

                      G                             D
Lost an arm in the war, was laughed at by a whore

                          A            E
But still not a sniffle & sob

         D                       A                 G
Well his novel was refused & his movie was banned

                                 A
And his big Broadway show was a flop

                        G                           D
He was sent off to jail, you guessed it, no bail

                           A
But still not a dribble or drop

                      G                      D
In jail he was beaten, bullied & buggered

                        A
And made to make licence plates

             G                       D
Water & bread was all he was fed

                        A              E
But not once did a tear stain his face

             D      A                     G
Doctors were called in, scientists too

                                    A
Theologians were last & practically least

                              G
They all agreed sure enough

                       D
He was no cream puff

                           A
But in fact an insensitive beast

                        G                       D
He was removed from jail & placed in a place

                          A
For the insensitive & the insane

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He played lots of chess & he made lots of friends

                                A
And he wept every time it would rain

             E         D    A                       G
Well once it rained 40 days & it rained 40 nights

                                              A
And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried

                G                      D
On the 41st day he just passed away

                     A
He just dehydrated & died

                    G                   D
He went up to heaven located his dog

                        A
Not only that but he rejoined his arm

                           G                        D
Down below all the critics, they took it all back

                  A                   E
Cancer robbed the whore of her charm

            D                             A                     G
His ex-wife died of stretch marks, his ex-employer went broke

                             A
The theologians were finally found out

                         G                        D
Right down to the ground, the prison burned down

                         A
The earth suffered perpetual drought