Loudon Wainwright III – Iwiwal (Guitar)

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(Spoken) OK, so I'm riding around in this car with this woman that I'm close to a couple times a week. And I'm noticing she's looking out of the window and noticing other women, how this one looks,Isn't her hair lovely? What a nice outfit... I said, Babe, what is the DEAL? You're noticing all these other chicks... maybe... you're a lesbian. She looks at me and she says,I wish I was a lesbian. Now, at that point I wanted to say, You mean 'you wish you were a lesbian' because, grammatically... But I let it slide. I didn't wanna ruffle any feathers. But, ya know, that sentence, that retort, "I wish I was a lesbian"...kinda stuck in the ole Laud-o's mind. kinda gestated there for seven, eight minutes then this tune popped out... G

G------
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero

G                                    D
I wouldn't have to mess with men and all their come-and-go

G                                    D
And all that awful facial hair and yucky "ma-chis-mo"

C           G--
Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero

G                           C
I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight

G                                D
I would sleep with women only; man, that would be great

G                                            D
I could throw away my diaphragm; I wouldn't wanna mate

C          G--
Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight

HEY!

G
I wish I was a lesbian; I'd like to be a dyke

G                                D
I would hang with k.d. lang; Mel Gibson, take a hike

G                                                 C
I think it would be nice to love someone who was alike

C           G
Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian; I'd like to be a dyke

G                                      D
I wish I was a lesbian; that's why this song is sung

G                                 D
It shouldn't have to matter how someone is hung

G                                   C
Other things are more important...LIKE HOW TO USE YOR

C
TOUNGE...bablblblb

G
I wish I was a lesbian; that's why this song is sung

D            (etc... to the end)
HEEEEEEY!

I dare Casey Kasem to play this I wish I was a lesbian; I know it's sad, but true But maybe I might understand you guys and all you do But if I was a lesbian, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO I wish I was a lesbian; I know it's sad, but true Hey, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero I wouldn't have to mess with men and all their come-and-go And all that awful facial hair and yucky "ma-chis-mo" (I hate that damned machismo!) Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero!