Loudon Wainwright III – Good Ship Venus (Guitar)

G
  On the good ship Venus

   G
By Christ, you should have seen us

    C                G
The figurehead was a whore in bed

   G      D          G
Sucking a dead man's penis

    G
The captain's name was Lugger

   G
By Christ, he was a bugger

   C             G
He wasn't fit to shovel shit

     G        D   G
From one ship to another

        G
And the second mate was Andy

   G
By Christ, he had a dandy

          C                     G
Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock

    G       D      G
For cumming in the brandy

    G
The third mate's name was Morgan

   G
By God, he was a gorgon

     C                  G
From half past eight he played till late

 G       D         G
Upon the captain's organ

    G
The captain's wife was Mabel

    G
And by God, was she able

   C                   G
To give the crew their daily screw

 G       D      G
Upon the galley table

    G
The captain's daughter Charlotte

    G
Was born and bred a harlot

    C                    G
Her thighs at night were lily white

   G       D         G
By morning they were scarlet

    G
The cabin boy was Kipper

   G
By Christ, he was a nipper

   C                    G
He stuffed his ass with broken glass

    G     D         G
And circumcised the skipper

    G
The captain's lovely daughter

      G
Liked swimming in the water

  C                    G
Delighted squeals came when some eels

G         D      G
Found her sexual quarters

    G
The cook, his name was Freeman

       G
And he was a dirty demon

       C               G
And he fed the crew on menstrual stew

    G      D        G
And hymens fried in semen

        G
And the ship's dog was called Rover

       G
And we turned the poor thing over

    C                      G
And ground and ground that faithful hound

     G     D       G
From   Teneriff to Dover

G
When we reached our station

        G
Through skillful navigation

    C                  G
The ship got sunk in a wave of spunk

     G        D    G
From too much fornication

G
On the good ship Venus

   G
By Christ, you should have seen us

    C                G
The figurehead was a whore in bed

   G      D          G
Sucking a dead man's penis