Josh Ritter – Sir Galahad (Guitar)

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The angel of the Holy Grail

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saw Galahad come ridin'

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So he took the Holy Grail off the shelf.

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And inside the holy chapel made for

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Holy Grail hidin' the angel

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Could be seen to smile to himself.

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"If you're the great Sir Galahad

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From now on," said the angel

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"May all angels call me blessed of my race."

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"If you're not the great Sir Galahad

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I'll warn you, keep on ridin' and if you are

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I pray you'll let me see your face."

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Galahad took off his helmet, said

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"Good angel look upon me.

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Fear not, for I bring tidings of great joy.

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For long years the grail you've guarded, now

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You get to let me drink it, how

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Happy must be angels thus employed."

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"All the favors you shower upon

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Me, a simple angel," said the

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Angel, "your magnificence abounds.

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Take your boots off great Sir Galahad,

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For by your astounding beauty whatever

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Ground you stand on turns to holy ground."

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Galahad took off his boots, and he

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Watched the ground quite closely

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And the angel smiled to himself again.

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He said, "I can't believe I'm asking, but

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Sir Galahad please tell me, what is

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It that makes you want to go to heaven?

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In heaven there's no lamb chops,

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Queen Guinevere's for hand jobs,

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Marijuana, Kenny Rogers, or ecstasy.

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No pillaging, no rape, perhaps

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you've come by some mistake to me

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this seems more error than knight errantry.

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Yes, and what about the stable boys,

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I know you think they're handsome

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and some of them, they think you're awful handsome too.

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And, sitting up in heaven, you'll still

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think about them often, when you're an

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angel thinking's all that you can do."

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At this, Sir Galahad got angry,

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"Angel," he said, "don't you tempt me.

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I wish to go to heaven and not to hell.

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So when stable boys look lonesome,

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When the women call me handsome,

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I'll hold me virtue very firmly by myself."

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"I guarantee you'll hold it often,"

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said the angel. "Oh one more thing, before you

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drink the wine, please take your armor off.

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I gotta carry you to heaven,

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And despite what you'd imagine,

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I have trouble bearing heavy things aloft."

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Sir Galahad stood naked

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In a pile of his armor,

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His boots and helmet scattered all around.

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His perfect lips, they sipped the grail,

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His perfect heart commenced to fail,

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His perfect body fell upon the ground.

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The angel lit a cigarette.

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When he was sure Galahad was dead,

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He picked all of his clothes up off the floor.

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Then I put on his boots and armor

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I laid his body on the altar

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Put his helmet on and I headed for the door.