Jonathan Coulton – Todd The T1000 (Ukulele)

    E               C#m          A  B
Sometimes I kind of miss the old XJ-9

            E            C#m  A B
    that we used to call Jane

E              C#m             A         B
Really good at cleaning and we got along fine

         E           C#m  A B
    so I couldn’t complain

C#m                               G#
Lately she’d been getting tangled up in the shag rug

    E                               F#
And finally one wheel just wouldn’t spin

      F#m                     D7
So we said our goodbyes and I traded her in

     E                 C#m              A         B
This new one’s kind of creepy, makes me shudder inside

             E     C#m A B
    with his idiot grin

     E                C#m              A          B
He’s head to toe with muscles and they ripple and slide

          E           C#m A B
    under translucent skin

    C#m                                 G#
Sometimes he’ll stand for hours looking into the mirror

    E                            F#
And flexing like some guy at the gym

        F#m               D7
And I’m easily ten inches shorter than him

E        F#m G#m C#
Todd the T  1000 scares me

  F#m            F#m(maj7)        F#m7       B
I don’t think he knows I’ve got a right to exist

       E          F#m      G#m       C#
And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me

    F#m         F#m(maj7)  F#m7     B
And when I look over he is making a fist

    A      B    A    B A/C# B/Eb E(2)
One finger at a time

  E                C#m           A          B
I ask him if he’ll vacuum and he doesn’t respond,

          E            C#m  A B
    but I know that he heard

  E                  C#m             A               B
I turn and catch him looking when he thinks that I’m gone

           E            C#m A B
    and he flips me the bird

  C#m                                    G#
I asked him when we started, please stay out of the bedroom

    E                         F#
But I don’t think I’m safe anywhere

       F#m                    D7
When I wake in the dark I can tell that he’s there

E        F#m G#m C#
Todd the T  1000 scares me

  F#m            F#m(maj7)        F#m7       B
I don’t think he knows I’ve got a right to exist

       E          F#m      G#m       C#
And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me

    F#m         F#m(maj7)  F#m7     B
And when I look over he is making a fist

    A      B    A    B
One finger at a time

     A           B                A/C#        B/Eb
So I live like a ghost while he’s living like me

A        B        A/C# B/Eb
It’s not my house any  more

      A             B               C#m       B/Eb
And I sneak out the door while he’s watching TV

A         B      A/C#   B/Eb
Head down to the cyborg store

G#m7       C#         G#m7           C#
I get some new arms installed at the store

G#m7    C#      G#m7   C#
Buy the biggest ones I can

A            B              A/C#        B/Eb
Head back to my house, Todd answers the door

A       B         A/C#   B/Eb
He sees more than just a man

   E              C#m              A          B
My right arm is a smasher like the trunk of a tree

            E            C#m A B
    and the left one’s a saw

  E                C#m        A          B
I cut the couch in half and I smash the TV

            E          C#m A B
    with my big smashy claw

     C#m                                G#
He’s standing still and silent, I can’t tell what he’s thinking

   E                           F#
He blinks a single glowing red eye

     F#m                       D7
So I give him a shove and then Todd starts to cry

E        F#m G#m C#
Todd the T1000 scares me

    F#m        F#m(maj7)        F#m7       B
But I think he knows I’ve got a right to exist

       E          F#m      G#m       C#
And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me

    F#m           F#m(maj7) F#m7     B
But when he looks over I am making a fist

    A      B    A    B A/C# B/Eb E(2)
One finger at a time