Jonathan Coulton – Kenesaw Mountain Landis (Guitar)

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Versions (2)

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Chords

Chords D xx0232 G 3x0003 Em 022000 A7 x02020 A x02220 Bm x24432 F# 244322 Verse 1
D                             G
Kenesaw Mountain Landis was a bad mother fucker

       D                             Em                A7
He was seventeen feet tall, he had a hundred and fifty wives

   D                             G                         
He didn't do that much except he saved the game of baseball

       D             G             D              A7
He put two and two together and he noticed it was four

        D            G                  D          A7
Now the treachery of Shoeless Joe can't hurt us anymore

          D                       G       A7       D     A(break)
And he'll always be remembered as Kenesaw Mountain Landis
Verse 2
D                              G                         
Fellow named Joe Jackson was a fielder for the Black Sox

       D                                   Em            A7
And he always wore his black socks, but he never wore no shoes

   D                                G
He weren't the nicest fellow and he had a couple problems

         D                  G                    D            A7
Cause he drank a lot and he beat his wife and he always acted rude

   D                   G             D         A7
He killed and ate some babies and he copped an attitude

        D                              G       A7       D     A(break)
And the one man that he hated most was Kenesaw Mountain Landis
Bridge 1
Bm                   
Mafia said Shoeless Joe

F#
You should really run this show

D
You should be the guy who owns baseball

    Bm
And all you really gotta do

   F#
Is help us make a buck or two

D                G     A7
We'll bet on the other team

       D                 G       A7
You'll lose the game but make it seem

     D                G                A7
Like nothing could be further from the truth
Verse 3
D                                  G
Shoeless Joe did what they said he dropped a couple fly balls

       D                               Em               A7
And he walked up to the pitcher and he poked him in the eye

    D                              G
And in the seventh inning with the Black Sox nearly beaten

          D               G                 D               A7
There was someone who was watching from his blimp above the stands

D          G            D               A7
Cradling a rifle in his thick and meaty hands

       D                                G       A        D     A(break)
And as if you hadn't guessed yet it was Kenesaw Mountain Landis
Bridge 2
Bm
Kenesaw said drop that glove

F#
Or I swear by God above

D
I'll make you regret playing baseball

Bm
Shoeless Joe looked up and saw

F#
The silver rifle's gaping maw

D                 G       A7
Though no one had noticed yet

    D             G       A7
His underwear was getting wet

   D               G             A7
He peed himself in front of everyone
Slow Verse
D                                G
Shoeless Joe was finished but he couldn't quite admit it

      D                            Em             A7
So he raised his middle finger up above the other four

D                            G     
Kenesaw took careful aim and fired a single bullet

       D               G                 D                  A7
And he shot that dirty finger off and he dropped his trusty gun

    D         G             D                A7
And everybody in the stands knew that he had won

    D                                G       A7       D
And today they still refer to him as Kenesaw Mountain Landis
Final Verse
D                              G
Shoeless Joe left baseball and became a famous pop star

       D                                 Em           A7       D
And he asked the musical question is she really going out with him

                             G
He had a couple albums and a comeback in the 80's

       D           G             D             A7
But he never won a Grammy and he never was the same

       D              G              D          A7
And he never could be satisfied with critical acclaim

          D                                 G     A7      D     A7
Cause the critics all confused him with the great Elvis Costello

        D                                 G       A7    D
Yes the critics all confused him with the great Elvis Costello