Jon Lajoie – Fk Everything (Ukulele)

Key
-
Versions (2)

Auto-scroll

Chords

Yo. All the rappers claim to not give a fuck. Well step aside bitches, cause I give the lowest amount of fuck humanly possible. What?!
Am
(I don't a give a fuck...)
About anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything, what (I don't give a fuck...)
         F                        E
I literally don't give a fuck about anything

Am
I don't give a fuck about motherfuckin' anything
People care about shit, I say fuck everything
                                                       F
Fuck you, fuck me, fuck the sky, fuck trees, fuck the sun

                     E
I don't need heat or Vitamin D!

Am
And fuck toasters. I don't need to cook my bread
And fuck coasters. I use a little plate instead And fuck roosters. With their useless cockadoodledoo
     F                             E
We invented the alarm clocks. We no longer need you

Am
Don't give a fuck about chairs. I prefer to stand
And fuck air conditioners - I got a ceiling fan And fuck the the movie The Fan, starring Wesley Snipes
  F                             E
Demolition Man's the only Snipes movie I like

Am
And fuck liking shit. I don't even like the stuff that I like
Don't give a fuck about not liking all the shit I don't like Like tissues. Fuck them! I blow my nose on the couch
             F                                E
And fuck my nostrils and my sense of smell, I breathe through my mouth

Am
Don't give a fuck about seeing bitch, fuck my eyes
Fuck physical perception yo, I'd rather be blind Fuck time, seconds are too short and minutes are a joke
               F                                  E
And hours are way too long, they should be half an hour at most

Am
And fuck coasts, who gives a fuck about where water meets land
And fuck boats, just because you float you think you're so fucking bad And fuck jokes, I don't need to be funny all the time
     F                       E
My dog has a tumor and he's probably gonna die, but...
Chorus- Am F E
Am
Walked into a coffee shop and ordered a cup
The girl says "small, medium, large?" I say "bitch, I don't give a fuck" She said "I can't process your order if you don't pick a size"
         F                                           E
I said "fine, I'll take a large, but I still don't give a fuck, alright?"
etcetera etcetera, the lyrics are all below, but the chord rhythm is exactly the same.
Am
Don't give a fuck about beverage size options motherfucker
And I don't give a fuck about liquids either They're all wet and shit and tend to spill all over the place
            F                       E
Like human semen when I get it all over my face

Am
I'm not gay, I just don't give a fuck about straight sex
And fuck my dick, I'll pee and cum out of my mouth instead. Fuck biological functions, fuck the human body
             F                              E
I prefer the body of a bat with the head of a coyote

Am
I call myself Batyote and I fight crime at night
I know it's similar to Batman but motherfuck copyright I plagiarize all the time, I do it every day
                F                         E
Cause I'm on the right track baby, I was born this way

Am
And fuck birth, entering the world of space and time is a bitch
Searching for purpose in the random universe sucks dick Is it deterministic or am I free to choose my way
       F                                E
Did I choose to not give a fuck about ice cube trays

Am
If I want ice I'll go to the fucking corner store and buy a bag
Filling you up and waiting for the water to freeze is a motherfucking drag You know what? Fuck the word fuck, I don't need to use it
         F                           E
I'll replace it with the word chainsaw for this chorus

Am
(I don't a give a chainsaw...)
About anything, chainsaw everyone and chainsaw everything, what (I don't give a chainsaw...)
          F                          E
I literally don't give a chainsaw about anything

Am
If there was a contest to see who doesn't give a fuck the most
I wouldn't win cause I don't give a fuck about winning yo I don't even give a fuck about not giving a fuck,
     F               E
so I do give a fuck... wait, what?

Am
(I give a fuck...)
About everything, I love everyone and care about everything (I give a fuck...)
         F                     E
I literally care about every motherfucking thing