Hank Green – Crime Dramas Suck (Guitar)

Intro: C G C G C
Verse 1:

          C                      G
There's a place where you don't wanna be

       C          G
Where people die constantly

          C            G
And they never die in normal ways

         C             G
It's preposterous but still cliche

          C                              G
When your drug dealer's aunt kills your mom in a duel

      C                          NC
By chopping off her head with a scythe in a pool

        D
Well they're not saying it makes sense

        E
They're just interpreting the evidence

             C               G
This is the plot to every television crime show

C                    C                                G
 From CSI to Columbo and I think you know what's in store

    C                  G        
The guy we met in the first fifteen minutes

C                       NC
 Will come back because you know he did it

C                               G
I don't think they're trying anymore

                 C
And I'm getting bored

C                        G
There was semen all over the crime scene

           C                      G
So they use the super-fancy semen testing machine

        C             G
And the DNA database gets a hit

        C                        G
But it looks like he might still get away with it

         C               G
But the final piece of evidence

C                   C
Totally stumps the bad guy's defense

    D
And he breaks down in front of everyone

    E
And tells them exactly how it was done

             C               G
This is the plot to every television crime show

C                    C                                G
 From CSI to Columbo and I think you know what's in store

    C                  G        
The guy we met in the first fifteen minutes

C                       NC
 Will come back because you know he did it

C                               G
I don't think they're trying anymore

                 C
And I'm getting bored

        C           G
By the middle of the first season

C                       G
Murder is eclipsed by sexual tension

        C                     G
And I guess that probably happens a lot

        C                         G
Since crime-solving people are always so hot

           C               G
But then a serial killer kidnaps the girl

           C                         C
And they promise to save her if it costs them the world

           D
And they find her two seconds before she dies

           E
And they hug and they laugh and they screw and they cry

             C               G
This is the plot to every television crime show

C                    C                                G
 From CSI to Columbo and I think you know what's in store

    C                  G        
The guy we met in the first fifteen minutes

C                       NC
 Will come back because you know he did it

C                               G
I don't think they're trying anymore

                 C
And I'm getting bored