Half Man Half Biscuit – The Best Things In Life (Ukulele)

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My uncle Charlie is a cynical man

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And his wife's a touch sceptical too

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They've got one of those stickers in the back of their van

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It says "We've seen the prices at the zoo"

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Well today I knocked upon their door and said that I was passing

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And Charlie launched a scathing attack

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When I asked him what I'd done he said "You stupid bastard

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We live in a cul-de-sac".

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Went to Dali's party it was fancy dress

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I just stuck an apple in my face

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I saw a chap who obviously was out to impress

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Reckoned he beat Gagarin in to space

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He said "Hi there Salv, like sorry I'm late

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But I was getting done up as a Mogul Thrash Acetate"

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Me I got bored, so I went home

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Got into bed and came to the conclusion:

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There is nothing better in life

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Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro,

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There is nothing better in life

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Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro,

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There is nothing better in life

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Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro,

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There is nothing better in life

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Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro

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On a Saturday night instead of going to the pub.