Half Man Half Biscuit – Grafting Haddock In The George (Guitar)

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Chords

[Intro] E G# A B E G# A B E G# A B E G# A B [Verse 1]
           E G# A B         E            G#                 A     B
When I was young    and the blood pulsed swiftly through my veins

       E   G#             A      B           E             G#             A       B
Before age trampling upon youth, powdered my head with the snows of fifty winters

        E        G#       A         B              E            G#          A
I never thought about the future or what I would become; didn’t care, still don’t

B      E           C#m       G#           A            E       G# A B
For as far as I’m aware they don’t stitch pockets into shrouds.
[Instr] G C G C E G# A B E G# A B
E   G#    A           B             E       G#              A    B
Oh, those Forestry Commission roads, what a tale they could tell.
[Instr] G D C D G D C D [Break]
G         D            C                D   G D C D
 I am the godfather of nothing whatsoever.

                  G                             D         C D
Our Martin on the other hand thought he was the town cheese

       G             D                        C              D
Purported to deal in short term solutions for long-legged men

   G                           D       C D
He also liked the sound of his own voice.

          G                    D                      C                       D
He was at Knowsley Safari Park one day where he saw a monkey with a banana in one hand

          G                  D                      C                       D
And a tin opener in the other, and he shouted over “Hey, you don’t need the tin opener for that”

   G                       D                       C        D G
To which the monkey replied “It’s for the custard, dickhead!”

D                    C                     D G D C D
 It was loft ladders what killed our Martin.

G                   D                   C                             D                      G    D C D
 Larry on the other hand cleans out the drains at the Methodist Centre and wears a permanent smile

             G         D                   C    D G D C D
He reckons a contented mind is a continual feast,

     G             D                C
When darkness falls I’m as happy as Larry.
[Coda]
E    B       A           B      E    B       A         B        G C G C
 Sometimes I set out for Ludlow, sometimes I end up in Chepstow.

D  C    G         D   C         G
 I am a happy man – I drive the happy van

D  C          G       D                        E     G# A B
 I scaled the Matalan – made it ma: top of the world!
[Instr] E G# A B E G# A B [Outro]
G                C       D                G
 Grafting haddock in the back room of the George

G                C       D                G
 Grafting haddock in the back room of the George

G                C       D                G      C G C G
 Grafting haddock in the back room of the George.