Half Man Half Biscuit – For What Is Chatteris (Ukulele)

       F               G     Gaug
e|--------3---3-3------------------------------------------------|
B|--------3---3-3------3-----3--3-3-3----------------------------|
G|--------0---0-0------2-----3--3-3-3----------------------------|
D|--------0------------0-----0--0-0-0----------------------------|
A|---------------------------------------------------------------|
E|----3----------------------------------------------------------|

F
One way system, smooth and commendable

G
Go by bus, they're highly dependable

    F
The swings in the park for the kids have won awards

Dm                   G
The clean streets, acknowledged in the Lords

F
But what's a park if you can't see a linnet

Am
A timetable if your journey's infinite

Dm
My bag's packed and I'm leaving in a minute

G
For what is Chatteris without you in it?

F
Car crime's low, the gun crime's lower

G
The town hall band's CD, it's a grower

    F
You never hear of folk getting knocked on the bonce

Dm                            G
Although there was a drive by shouting once

F
But there's a brass band everywhere

Am
And I don't drive, so I don't care

         Dm
And as a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square

G
What's Chatteris if you're not there?

       F
Like a game-bird reserve short on pheasants

Am
Weavers' cottages devoid of tenants

  Dm
A market town that lacks quintessence

G
That's Chatteris without your presence 

F
Three good butchers, two fine chandlers

   G
An indoor pool and a first class cake shop

F
OFSTED plaudits, envy of the fens

Dm                G
Prick barriers at both ends

F
But what's Chatteris if you're not there?

Am
What's Chatteris if you're not there?

Dm
What's Chatteris if you're not there?

G
What's Chatteris if you're not there?

F
What's Chatteris if you're not there?

A
What's Chatteris if you're not there?

  Dm                G          F - G - F - G - F - G - F - G/F# - F
I may as well be in Ely or St. Ives