Frank Zappa – Titties And Beer (Ukulele)

Key
-
Versions (3)

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Chords

Tabbed By: Pecolatto Email: [email protected] ((((Up and down strokes for every chord))))
           Bm        Am
It was the blackest night!

             E       Am 
There was no moon in sight!

              Bm          Am
(you know the stars ain't shinin'

           E         Am
'cause the sky's too tight)

            Bm    Am
I heard the scary wind!

            E    Am
I seen some ugly trees!

            Bm       Am
There was a werewolf honkin',

          E       Am
'long the side of me!

Bm          Am                 E        Am
I'm mean 'n I'm bad, (y'know I ain't no sissy)

Bm              Am           E        Am
Got a big-titty girly by the name of 'chrissy'

Bm            Am        E       Am
Talkin' about her 'n my bike 'n me...

Bm                  Am          E  Am      E  Am
'n this ride up the mountain of my-stery, (my-stery)
(Bm,Am,E,Am X2)
          Bm       Am
I noticed even the crickets

      E        Am
Acted weird up here

       Bm        Am
And so I figured I might

             E      Am
Just drink a little beer

        Bm          Am            E       Am
I said, gimme summa that what yer suckin' on...

              Bm Am
But there was no reply

       E       Am
'cause she was gone!

Bm            Am        E       Am
where's those titties I like so well,

       Bm     Am
'n' my goddam beer!

          E          Am           Bm         Am
Is what I started to yell, then I heard this noise

       E         Am       Bm            Am
Like a crunchin' twig, 'n up jumped the devil!

      E          Am
(he's about this big!)

         Bm       Am
He had a red suit on

      E       Am
An' a widow's peak

           Bm      Am
An' then a pointed tail

          E       Am
'n like a sulphur reek,

            Bm  Am
Yes, it was him awright,

          E         Am
I swear I knowed it was!

            Bm    Am
He had some human flesh

            E         Am
Stuck under-neath his claws

             Bm        Am
You know, it looked to me

            E     Am
Like it was titty skin!

            Bm       Am
I said, you son-of-a-bitch!

              E      Am
('cause I was mad at him!)

            Bm      Am  
He just got out his floss

           E            Am
'n started cleanin' his fang

     Bm               Am
So I shot him with my shooter,

      Bm    Am    Fm
Said: bang! bang! bang!
((((Just downward strokes on this part))))
        Bm          Am               E      Fm
Then the sucker just laughed 'n said: put it away!

            Bm          Am    
You know, I ate her all up...now what you

E     Fm
Gonna say?

    Bm     Am
You ate my chrissy?

      E          Fm
yeah! titties 'n all!

          Bm        Am
Well what about the beer then?

     E                  Fm
now, were the cans this tall?

Bm       Am
Even her boots?

        E      Fm
would I lie to you?

          Bm         Fm
Shit, you musta been hungry!

      E       Fm
yeah, this is true.

           Bm      Am
Don't they pay you good for the

E          Fm
Stuff that you do?

                Bm          Am             E           Fm
well, you know, I can't com-plain when the checks come through...

     Bm        Am
Well I want my chrissy,
Oh yeah?
   E         Fm
'n I want my beer
Hah!
            Bm           Am
So you just barf it back up!

            E      Fm
Now, devil, do you hear?

Bm               Am         E     Fm
blow it out your ass, motor-cycle man!

        Bm       Am            E     Fm
I mean, I am the devil, do you under-stand?

     Bm            Am
Just what will you give me for your

E           Fm
Titties and beer?

              Bm           Am
I suppose you noticed this little

E        Fm
Contract here...

    Bm     Am         E        Fm
Yer goddam right, you son-of-a-whore!
Don't call me that!
       Bm             Am
That's about the only reason

          E       Fm
I learned writin' for!

Bm         Am             E          Fm
Gimme that paper! bet yer horns I'll sign!

        Bm       Am            E
Because I need a beer, 'n it's titty-

          Fm
Squeezin' time!

         Bm         Am      E          Fm
man, you can't fool me! you ain't that bad!
Oh yeah?
        Bm      Am               E               Fm     
Why you shoulda seen some of the souls that I've had!

          Bm      Am       E     Fm
There was milhous nixon 'n agnew too!

           Bm    Am          E        Fm
'n both of those suckers was worse 'n you!

Bm           Am          E
Let's make a deal if you think

       Fm
That's true

               Bm                 Am         E
I mean, you're supposed to be the devil so...whatcha

      Fm
Gonna do?
Heh?
           Bm              Am                      E        Fm
wait a minute...a tinge of doubt crosses my mind...when you say...

         Bm                       Am          
That you want to make a deal with me...

E                     Fm
that's very, very true

    Bm        Am        E   Fm
I'm only inte-rested in two things
yeah?
Bm         Am        E         Fm
See if you can guess what they are

Bm           Am      E          Fm
i would think...uh...let's see, maybe stravinsky...

Bm                Am     E         Fm
i'll give you two clues. let go of your pickle

Bm
what?

Am        E           Fm
let go of your pickle!

Bm                 Am
i'm not holding my pickle

E                Fm              Bm
well, who's hold-ing your pickle then?

Am           E       Fm                 Bm
i don't know...she's out in the audience...

Am                  E                        Fm
Hey dale, would you like to come up here and hold

   Bm                     Am                   E     Fm
My pickle to satisfy this weird man out on the stage? 

Bm                     Am              E
i'm only interested in two things, and that's

Fm
Titties and beer

Bm                   Am
You know what I mean?

E      Fm
what?
((((Increase speed here))))
Bm          Am
Titties and beer

E           Fm
Titties and beer

Bm          Am
Titties and beer

E           Fm
Titties and beer

Bm          Am
Titties and beer

E           Fm
Titties and beer

Bm
Titties and beer!

Am
Titties and beer!

E
Titties and beer!

Fm
Titties and beer!

Bm        Am       E               Fm
no! don't sign it! give me time to think...

       Bm        Am                        E     Fm
I mean hold on a second boy, 'cause that's magic ink!
((((Up and down strokes again from now on))))
             Bm                  Am
And then the devil let go of his pickle

E               Am                  Bm
And out come my girl, there was her titties

Am       
Flop-floppin'...all around the world

         Bm             Am          E          Am
She said i got me three beers and a fistful of downs

        Bm        Am         E         Am
And I'm gonna get ripped, so fuck, you clowns!

         Bm          Am             E         Am
Then she gave us the finger, it was rigid and stiff

                Bm        Am
That's when the devil, he farted

             E              Am
And she went right over the cliff!

    Bm        Am          E         Am
The devil was mad, I took off to my pad

        Bm      Am
I swear I do de-clare!

            E        Am
How did she get back there?
Do that last part 4 times and thats the song. Email me for a request.