dodie – The Slowest Man Alive (Ukulele)

         Gm
Now the other day I was standing in line

              Bb
And I'd been standing for, well, quite some time

         C
I had a train to catch, I had a place to be

         D7
Sandwich in my hand, I was all set to leave.

       Gm
I was ready to pay, just gonna beep and move

     Bb
Just two more people in that infuriating que

     C
And one of them's gone now; off they drive...

     D7
And this is when I meet the slowest man alive.

     Gm
He shuffles forward, tripping on every crack

         Bb
Tapping every pocket, his front and back

            C
Raises his arms in the air, "Oh dear, where's my cash?"

 D7
Just as he does so, there's a might splash

 Gm
Pennies and fivers and ten p's and pounds

 Bb
Fall from his arms and bounce on the ground

     C
He chuckles. I crack, as down he bends

            D7
To pick up every last coin, fifties, twenties, and tens.

          Gm
Sandwich melting in hand, the slowest man in this world

            Bb
Plonks his change on the counter, deals it out to the girl

    C
"Uh oh!" he exclaims with a huff and a puff

 D7
"I don't think I have enough"

    Gm
So just as I think I'll never get served

       Bb
A new cashier appears after what we've observed

C
I bound forward, grab my uke from behind

     D7
I'm ready to blow this slow man's mind

Eb                              Bb
Hey, Scattered Change, have you heard of bpay

            C                         Gm
'Cos I can purchase my sandwich in a unique way

      Eb                           Bb
I'll tell you a bit more about it after this song

         C                               Gm
But I'm paying with my uke and then I'm moving along

      Eb                      Bb
As I smugly place down my uke on the machine

              C                       Bb        C
The slow man laughs at something that I haven't seen...

                            Eb
"I like your bpay sticker,

                           Bb
your lack of change and a purse,

       D7
but before you pay...

                                      Gm
check where your sandwich is first!"