Bobby Bare – Numbers (Guitar)

 G                                             D
I was sittin' here Friday suppin' on a glass of wine

                                           G
When in walked a chick who almost struck me blind

                                              C
She had wet blue eyes and her legs were long and fine

     D                                         G
On a scale of ONE to TEN (pause) I'd give her a NINE.

G                                    D
Now on my scale there ain't no TEN's, you know

                                   G
NINE is about as far as any chick can go

                                                    C
So I flashed her a smile, but she didn't even look at me

        D                                  G
So for brains and good judgement, give her a THREE.

     G                                          D
I said, hey sweet thing, you look like a possible EIGHT

                                                      G
You and me could, uh! make EIGHTEEN, if your head's on straight

                                C
She looked up and down my perfect frame

        D                                      G
And said these words that burned into my perfect brain.

         G                                     D
She said, well, another one of those macho-matician men

                                           G
Tryin' to grade all women on scales of ONE to TEN

                                                              C
And, uh!, you give me an EIGHT, well, that's a generous thing to do

      D                                G
Now, let's just see, just how much I give you.

   A                                                 E
She said you comin' on to me with that corny NUMBERS jive

                                      A
Your style makes me smile, I give it a FIVE

                                           D
When you walked up I noticed that suit of (yores)

     E                                              A
It's last year's double knit, frayed cuffs, give it a FOUR.

    A                                   E
That must be your car parked out on the curb

                                                    A
That 'SIXTY-NINE homemade convertible, A THREE and A THIRD

                                         D
As for that build, I guess you're less than FIVE

     E                                         A
'cept for your pot belly, I'd give that a TEN for size.

    A                                    E
That wine you're pourin' might be fine to you

                                          A
But I'm used to fine champagne, I give it a TWO

                                            D
It's hard to tell what your flashin' smile is worth

      E                                   A
I give it a SIX, you could use some dental work.

     A                                                  E
But, It's your struttin' rooster act that really makes me laugh

                                                             A
It may be a TEN to these country hens, but to me a THREE and A HALF

                                                      D
And there really ain't much to add once the subtractin's done

    E                                        A
And since there ain't no ZEROes, I give you a ONE.

      A                             E
She walked out, while up and down the line

                                                            A
The whole bar was laughin', sayin' BARE, what happened to your NINE

                                               D
NINE says I, hell soon as she started to talk I knew

    E                                        A
She didn't have no class, I barely gave her a TWO.