Bob Schneider – Batman (Guitar)

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Well my name’s batman, but you can call me Bob

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And when I see the boy wonder I just say,

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“Yo Rob, I used to wear a cape and do the leotard bit,

            D
but now I’m wearing (insert your outfit)

        G      N.C.
cause I don’t give a” - shut your mouth!

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I used to bust my butt all day fightin’ crime

            D
But now I’m rocking (insert your location)

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When I sing my rhymes.

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I can turn any crowd into a crazy old mob

      D            N.C.
Cause I’m Batman – but you can call me Bob

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Well I’ll tell you all this story that once happened to me

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Me and Robin, we went cruising down the street

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in the bat mobile

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we had the lights turned low

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We had a six-pack on ice

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So, we were good to go

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And with the bat box blastin' out our old theme song

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Robin kept passin' me this big old bong

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I took a couple of hits and, man, the next thing that I know

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There was a cop pulling us over to the side of the road

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He said, “Hey, what’s your name, boy? You look like a damn slob.”

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I said, “I’m Batman, officer, but hey, you can call me Bob.”

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Well, I turned to look at Robin, I said, hey man, it’s getting kinda late

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And I gotta find me a (insert your location) girl before I start to hallucinate.

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So we found this little old place, and we went on inside.

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And they gave Robin hell at the door about his age, but he just lied

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And I went up to the bar, and I ordered myself a coke and jack

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And that’s when I felt a strong hand on the back of my back

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And I turned around, and dropped my drink, man,

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There was this girl there in a mink

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She was about the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen I think

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I introduced her to Robin, I said, “hey this is Rob,

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but baby, I’m the Batman, but you can call me Bob.”

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Well I promised to behave,

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and we went back to the bat cave

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And she took one look at my place

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And man, she started to rave

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And then she gave me a nice kiss and said, “hey, I'ma be right back

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I’m just gonna slip outta some of these clothes so we can relax.”

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Well, she left the room for a minute

      C
And I threw on some nice tunes

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Opened up my skylight so we could look at the moon

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But when she came back in,

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man, she had this big old whip in her hand

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Turns out she was the psychotic crazy old Catwoman

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She started chasin’ me around my house

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Screaming she wanted me dead

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I had to use my batarang and hit her right in the head

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She went out like a light

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I said, “Oh, man what a night.”

         D
I had to drag her down to the police department

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Where they locked her up tight

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As I was leaving the sergeant looked at me

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And said, “son, you’ve done a fine job.”

         D                    N.C.
I said, “I know.  I’m Batman, but you can call me Bob.”