Bo Burnham – Rehab Center For Fictional Characters (Guitar)

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Well, hello everyone!

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Welcome to the Rehab Center for fictional characters.

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Umm, alright. Lets get right to it

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Who wants to start us off?

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How about you Chris??

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Umm, alright. Hey, I'm Chris Cringle.

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I'm a sex addict.

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Hey I'm Santa Clause, I'm the king of snow.

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I hate my wife because she is a ho, ho, ho.

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She used to please me every day,

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then she made it clear that santa's only supposed to come once a year.

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Fuckin Bitch.

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Now I buy whores, rock and roll, and I stuff their stockings

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with my north pole Okay Chris, thank you!

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Alright, who wants to go next?

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Patrick frowny face!

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Get up here.

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Alright.

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I'm Patrick O'Riley, I'm a leperchaun. You all doin' good?

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Yeah, I'm not doing so good.

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I had a wonderful life, with a healthy household,

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And beautiful wife, and a pot full of gold. Ha.

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Then my wife spent my riches all by herself,

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and since women are bitches, blew a keebler elf.

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Uh, now I drink all day and a part of me dies.

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'cause my wife is getting gang-banged by the Rice Krispie guys.

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Hey I know them!

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Oh, hey Tony. Nice of you to show up.

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I had some

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Hey, I'm Tony the tiger.

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Fuck it.

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Every day I wake up, and I get to work late.

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My boss says, 'hey, what's up?'

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I say that I'm grrrrrrrrowing tired of this shit.

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The kids they laugh, 'cause I'm a sensitive cat. 'Big pussy!'

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I can't argue with that.

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If another kid gives me frosted flakes,

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I swear on my life i'll eat his parents.

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Okay Ton, thank you.

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So that's everybody.

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So lets just get down to it

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Oh, who are you?

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Yeah, hi, yeah, hi, Yeah, hi.

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I'm the easter bunny, hey I'm back!

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Used to be funny now I'm hooked on crack.

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Heaps of heroine ain't no joke,

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marshmellow peeps covered in coke-coke-coke-coke-coke-coke-coke-coke.

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COKE!

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Drugs for life, that's my plan, but now I have no attention span

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Okay, I'm just going to go and get him, alright?

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Play nice please. I'll be right back.

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Hey pat did you hear? All my elves got sick.

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I think they got herpes from some Irish chick.

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What you laughin' Tony, huh?

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'Cause it's funny!

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This is gettin rediculous.

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Santa, Tony could you guys please stop?

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Oh Snap!

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crackle and pop.

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Haha, 'cause they banged your wife.

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I'm getting out of here.

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This is fucking rediculous.