Bo Burnham – New Math (Guitar)

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What's a pirate minus the ship?

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Just a creative homeless guy,

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And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant?

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An ironic way to die

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And what's domain, domain, range (xxy)

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A kid with too much in his pants

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And two balls minus one,

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Six titles at the Tour de France

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Split a decision with long division,

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Take the circumference of your circumcision

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Live like your data and when you're all "set"

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Put it all together and whatever you get

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It's new math...

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It's new math...

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And what's a bag of chips divided by five,

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That's a Nike worker's meal

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And Santa Clause multiplied by "I"

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Well, I guess that makes him real

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And the square root of the NBA

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Is Africa in a box

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How do you trace a scatter plot?

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You give the pencil to Michael J. Fox

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Take the approximate moral proportion

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Of the probable problem of a pro-life abortion

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Live like your data, and when you're all "set"

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Put it all together and whatever you get...

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It's new math

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It's new math

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And if you took a factor tree

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Of the factors that caused my girl to leave me

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You'd have a tree...full of Asian porn.

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C-A-L-C-U-LATOR (see you later)

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Mathematical minds make industrial smog

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And what's the opposite of ln(x),

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Duraflame the unnatural log

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Support the farmers with a pro-tractor,

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Link Kennedy and Lincoln with a common factor (fact, or)

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Live like your data, and when you're all set

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Put it all together and whatever you get

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It's new math

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It's new math

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If there's a fat guy in a pastry shop

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With a twenty dollar bill and he's ready to buy,

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In order to predict his volume change

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You'll need to know the value of pi (pie)

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And if there's a metal train that's a mile long

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And at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her,

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How long 'til it reaches and kills the driver,

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Provided that he's a good conductor

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And if ten percent of men are gay and

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Twenty percent of men are Chinese,

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What are the odds that a man chosen at random

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Spends his freetime and mealtime while on his knees

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And if Kim is half as old as Bobby

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Who is two years older then twelve year old Tori,

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For how many more 30 day months

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Will their threesomes be considered statutory rape

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Cause havin' sex is like quadratic expansion

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If it can't be split then it's time to stop,

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And havin' sex is like doing fractions,

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It's improper for the larger one to be on top,

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And havin' sex is like math homework,

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I do it best when I'm alone in my bed

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And squaring numbers are just like women,

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If they're under thirteen just do them in your head...

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And new math