Bo Burnham – My Whole Family (Guitar)

G            D
Every time I go to dinner

G                           D
it seems like I'm getting a little bit thinner

G                    D
I'll sit down at the breakfast table

G               D
I can talk, but they're not able

G              D
When I look at them I find

G                         D
there's a single question on their mind.

G                              D
I wish it could go back to the way it was

G                D            Em
it's not easy no because...

         C               G
My whole family thinks I'm gay

             D                G
I guess it's always been that way.

           C                  G
Maybe it's cause of the way I walk,

                D                   Em
that makes them think that I like...boys

    G                     D
The goddamn question just won't go away

      G                 D
cause I get asked every single day

        G                  D
but the way they ask it is no disguise,

      G                        D
like "How was your day? Do you like to kiss guys?"

G                       D
This is the worst, baby this was my fear

G                      D              Em
Now their opinions are crystal clear.

         C             G
My whole family now is shocked,

           D                      Em
I'm in the closet and the door is locked.

       C              G
Now my glory days are gone,

           D                        Em
I was John Elway, now I'm Elton John.

         C          G
My whole family now suspects,

     D                           Em
That watching Spongebob had side-effects.

            C                     G
But I'm not gay and that's what I said,

       D                      Em
If I'm gay then God strike me dead.

G                     D
Just cause I go to an all-guys school,

G                              D
Doesn't mean Justin Timberlake makes me drool.

       G           D
When I go outside, what do I see?

     G                      D      Em
The clouds in the sky spell "F-A-G"

             C                   G
I think that God might think I'm gay,

          D          Em
What does he know anyway.

                     C                 G
My grandma gave me a present just last year,

             D                     Em
and the card said, "Happy Birthday queer!"

         C                  G
My whole family thinks I'm "fab"

               D                    Em
There's a guys butt, hey Bo, take a stab!

                   C                       G
Why doesn't he get women, there's no other way,

               D                    Em
It's cause I'm lanky, not cause I'm gay.

G               D
Just cause I'm afraid of the snow,

      G                      D
Or my favorite color is, the rainbow.

G                          D
I don't mean to yell but I fear I must,

          G                        D                      Em
Cause I'm losing the people that I thought I could trust.

        C                    G      D         Em
Even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay... motherf-

        C                  G
You all probably think I'm gay,

          D                  Em      C
Man, this song is counterproductive

G     D           Em C G D Em
   la la la la la laaa

     Em        C                 G
Cause my whole family thinks I'm gay,

        D             Em
What am I supposed to say?

                C                     G
Baby, you gotta see right through the haze,

          D               Em
Easy-Bake oven was just a phase.

         C                 G
My whole family thinks I'm queer,

        D          Em
That is all I ever hear,

         C                     G
But I've been as straight as a ramp,

       D                 Em
If you don't count Bible camp.

C G D G C G D G                Em
                I'm not gay, I swear