Bo Burnham – Channel 5 News (Guitar)

Key
-

Auto-scroll

Chords

[Verse 1]
E           A
Tonight at ten

                    C#m
The world's ending again

                     B
And we know why and when

               E
So you better watch

          A
We got a bit

                    C#m
With some feminist chick

             B
And also a picture

                 E
Of a Scarlet's crotch

            A
Two people died

             C#m
A double homicide

                      B
Their bodies found inside

              E
Of a wishing well

                    A
And we tackle the flaws

                  C#m
In these obesity laws

                         B
In this segment that's sponsored

         E
By Taco Bell
[Bridge 1]
            A
We've got violence,

         C#m
Danger, sex, and drugs

          B
And it's awesome

                    E
'Cause all of it's real

           A
We do the illusion of news

           C#m
And while you think

                     B
You're choosing the views
(No Chord) That you feel [Chorus]
A                              B
All of this and more and live, only on the Channel Five

E     C#m   G#m
News, ews, ews,

G#m
Only on the Channel Five (Repeat chorus starting from "Only" three more times)
(Spoken: "We've got Chip Walker, live at the scene, with breaking news! Chip, are you there?") [Verse 2]
E             A
Chip Walker here

                 C#m
Am I coming in clear?

              B
I'm standing near

                      E
To the scene of the crime

                   A
This Iraqi guy's shop

                     C#m
Seemed a newsworthy spot

                          B
So we've been gathering shots here

                E
For quite some time

            A
Today real fast

                      C#m
The owner's daughter passed

                         B
We grabbed a shot of her ass

                     E
While the owner was near

                     A
Then he struck my chest

                     C#m
And now he's under arrest

                        B
And now you people have one less

        E
Man to fear
[Bridge 2]
               A
This family's angry, crying,

C#m
Sad, and lost

          B
And it's awesome

                    E
'Cause all of it's real

           A
We do the illusion of news

           C#m
And while you think

                     B
You're choosing the views
(No Chord) That you feel [Chorus]
A                              B
All of this and more and live, only on the Channel Five

E     C#m   G#m
News, ews, ews,

G#m
Only on the Channel Five (Repeat chorus starting from "Only" three more times)
(Spoken: "We now go to Max Stevens, with the weather for the weekend. What are we looking at here, Max: umbrellas or picnic baskets?...Max?...Max!?" (Continue playing the E, C#m, G#m, G#m while saying: "We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by.") (Spoken: "Alright, we got a signal. Cut to Max.") [Verse 3]
               E
Good evening, hi

                  C#m
It's your weather guy

                D#
I advise you to buy

                   G#m
Another lightning rod

           E
We didn't catch

                  C#m
This impending disaster

            D#
Maybe it's natural

            G#m
Maybe it's God

             E
The sliding mud

               C#m
The incoming flood

                      D#
Will never wash the blood

                    G#m
From my greedy old hands!

              E
This job was fun

                     C#m
I had a pretty good run

                     D#
But I've never been one

                G#m
To give into demands
[Bridge 3]
           E
People are angry, crying,

C#m
Sad, and lost

          D#
And it's awful

                    G#m
'Cause all of it's real

           E
We do the illusion of news

           C#m
And while you think

                     D#
You're choosing the views
That you feel
D#
All of this and more all live

D#
Only on the Channel Five,

D#
Only on the Channel Five

D#
On-on-on-WE'RE BACK!
[Chorus starting at "News"] (Continue playing the E, C#m, G#m, G#m while saying: "Bla, bla, bla" and begin to fade out. Or just stop on a E with one last "Only on the Channel Five news", that's what I usually do!)