Ben Folds – Bitch Went Nutz (Ukulele)

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Track: Bitch Went Nutz (Fake) Artist: Ben Folds Tabbed by: mntlinstituteflr (Patrick Cason)
B capella ***
I took her with me to the Christmas office party — mistake

B capella ***
She did a line and started spouting all her liberal garbage

B capella ***
Bro, I'm so ashamed

Cmaj7					D
I never heard such shit in all my life

Cmaj7                        	     D  Em   B
I hoped one day to mold you into the perfect wife

B
But you blew my hopes sky-high

		  Em
The bitch went nuts

	 G
Started talking 'bout politics

D
In front of all my bosses

   Em
Bullshit from the internet

		  Em
The bitch went nuts

           G
I'll never be a partner at this rate

D                           Em
Not with Jane fucking Fonda Jr. as my date

	Cmaj7  G6  Cmaj7
Oh no!

Cmaj7  D   Cmaj7  G6  Cmaj7
Oh     no, no!

Cmaj7  G6
Oh!
(Solo over Em)
B capella ***								(Trill over Em)
It took me and a couple of men to restrain her, you should've seen her

B capella ***							     (Trill over Em)
When she freaked out and keyed John Franklin Jr.'s brand new Beamer

Cmaj7						D
She called us bigots with her fist in the air

Cmaj7					  D  Em  B
And as she did they all could see all her armpit hair

B
Now they think that I'm a fucking asshole

		  Em
The bitch went nuts

        G
Started talking about vegetables

	D
To the wives of my coworkers

      Em
Yeah, cruelty to animals

	     Em		     G
She thinks because she reads books she must be smarter

     D				      Em
But now when I close my eyes, I'll be fucking Jimmy Carter

	Cmaj7  G6  Cmaj7
Oh no!

Cmaj7  D   Cmaj7  G6  Cmaj7
Oh     no, no!

Cmaj7  G6  Cmaj7   D
Oh,    no no!

Cmaj7  G6
Oh, no no!

Em			D		 Em
Couldn't you have just nodded and smiled, from nine to twelve P.M.

	G6				D
Instead of telling your conspiracy theories

	 Em
To all my bosses

	  B
And all my friends?

		     Em
The bitch went nuts (Nuts!)

	G
Started putting down the Christians

     D
And all about what the white man

Em
Did to the Indians

	    Em		 G
How could I know that she never done blow before?

     D
She shouted, "Fuck Dick Cheney!"

	 Em
Then she puked on Franklin's floor

	(Solo on Em/G/D/Em chords)
Oh no!

	Cmaj7  G6  Cmaj7
Oh no!

Cmaj7  D   Cmaj7  G6  Cmaj7
Oh     no, no!

Cmaj7  G6  Cmaj7   D
Oh,    no no!

Cmaj7  G6
Oh, no no!