Ben Folds – Ass Crack Bandit (Guitar)

Dm
It said quarter to five

           Bb 
But it was quarter to ass

                 C
You thought your plumbing was safe

         Gm
But your jeans were half-mast

        Bb 
Another coin down the drain

           C                      Gm
Now that's some change that won't last

Gm          Dm
Twenty-five cents at a time

     Bb 
He's taking our souls

C                        Gm
Government man can't help

          Gm
We're all alone

        B Gm7
Are you feeling the breeze?

        C
Did you pull your belt tight?

    Gm
You know that it's wrong

    Gm                  Gm  F
You know that it's right

           C                      Gm  Bb 
Out of the shadows, down the coin goes

F         C             Gm
 Why, oh, why d'you suppose?

 A
(Only the Bandit knows)

[Chorus]
Bb                   C
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh

Dm        Dm7
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K Bandit

Bb                   C
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh

Dm        Dm7                 Bb 
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K can't stand it

Dm                                  Bb
Coins on the sidewalk, coins in the palm of my hand

C                             Gm
Coins in the ass crack or the eyes of a dead man

Bb                      C
Drawn from the shadows, quartered by fate

         Gm                Gm            Gm  A7
He's the Ass Crack Bandit, enemy of the state

[Chorus]
Bb                   C
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh

Dm        Dm7
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K Bandit

Bb                   C
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh

Dm        Dm7                 Bb 
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K can't stand it

Bb                   Dm7
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh

Dm        Dm7  Dm7 A
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K

A                                  A7           Dm
He'll give you no quarter, but he'll... give you a quarter

    A                          A7
The government just takes your change away

                Edim
Maybe we're the crooks, and he's the hero

A7                               Dm
Maybe he's the Messiah, who's to say...

Dm                           Bb 
Save yourself a coin for the ferryman

Bb            C
 Crossing the River Styx of your ass

         Bb                    Gm
Wipe the smile from your face, kids, 'cause this ain't funny

    A                 A7
And don't forget your jukebox money!

[Chorus]
Bb                   C
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh

Dm        F
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K (Bandit)

Bb                   C
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh

Dm        F
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K (can't stand it)

F               Bb 
Can't stand the fear,

                C
Can't stand not knowing,

            Dm
Can't stand forever,

            F               F   Bb 
E·ven·tu·al·ly, we all bend over

F           Bb                C
In the end, yeah, we all bend over

       Dm            F
In the end, yeah, we all bend over

     Bb                                    C
Your brothers, your sisters, they all bend over

     Bb                                 C
Your friends and enemies, they all bend over

        Bb 
You and me, we all bend over

         Bb 
Even the president, we all bend over...